Psalm 150: Praise Ye The Lord - Hallelu Yah

Psalm 150

¹Praise ye the LORD.
Praise God in his sanctuary:
      praise him in the firmament of his power.
²Praise him for his mighty acts:
      praise him according to his excellent greatness.
³Praise him with the sound of the trumpet:
      praise him with the psaltery and harp.
⁴Praise him with the timbrel and dance:
      praise him with stringed instruments and organs.
⁵Praise him upon the loud cymbals:
      praise him upon the high sounding cymbals.

⁶Let every thing that hath breath praise the LORD.

Praise ye the LORD.

Hallelu Yah, which is hebrew for Praise the Lord.  This past week marked the third anniversary since I started my journey through psalms.  For that I am grateful to God and praise the Lord.  My anniversary was not marked by fanfare or celebration - I simply went for a quiet walk with my son.  It's amazing the change that is in my life in three years.  I don't even know where to begin.  Secrets, lying and cheating have been replaced with honesty, serving, and contentment.  Porn, Drugs, and Alcohol have been replaced family, leadership, and community.

And there is much more work to do - God's transformative power continues to work in my life.  Just as life is one journey made up of smaller journey's.  In the same way, so is recovery.  Just because my journey through psalms is complete that doesn't mean I've completed my journey of recovery.  In fact, I still have several steps in the 12 steps which remain.

I want to thank all of you who joined me in this journey.  Thank you for all of your support.  Thank you for all of your prayers.  Of course, I would like thank God for bringing all of you into my life that could make this journey possible.  I want to wish you all the best in your personal journeys.  May you experience all the joy and relief that recovery has to offer - and may God always have His hand on you.  If you ever need support you can always reach me here...and, of course, you can always let God know what's going on.  If you need help finding God you can always make a prayer request.  Thanks again and God Bless.  Hallelu Yah.  Praise the Lord.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 149 (KJV): Sing to the LORD a new song

Psalm 149

¹Praise ye the LORD.

Sing unto the LORD a new song,
      and his praise in the congregation of saints.

²Let Israel rejoice in him that made him:
      let the children of Zion be joyful in their King.
³Let them praise his name in the dance:
      let them sing praises unto him with the timbrel and harp.
⁴For the LORD taketh pleasure in his people:
      he will beautify the meek with salvation.
⁵Let the saints be joyful in glory:
      let them sing aloud upon their beds.

⁶Let the high praises of God be in their mouth,
      and a two-edged sword in their hand;
⁷To execute vengeance upon the heathen,
      and punishments upon the people;
⁸To bind their kings with chains,
      and their nobles with fetters of iron;
⁹To execute upon them the judgment written:
      this honour have all his saints.

Praise ye the LORD.

I remember in the first few months of my recovery my radio dial found its way to new stations.  I would find myself listening to Contemporary Christian music or even pastor sermons.  It was quite literally a, or many, new songs in my life.  And similar to other things in life music becomes an important context in which things happen.  Having those songs in the background, in my head when I woke up, humming them in the shower, all of these were part of my new outlook in recovery.  It was new and it was liberating and it was inspiring.  With God's support anything was possible - and still is.  Months and Years into recovery the trick is to continue to raise the bar.  Ways to be more sober, ways to to be closer to God, ways to serve him better.  If I stop looking for new ways to stay close to God I tread on the slippery slope that leads, inevitably, back to my addiction.  So, here's to a new chapter where I look for ways to stay close to God.

Dear Lord, Praise be your name for you have given me sobriety and recovery.  You have given me a whole new outlook on life.  God, you know me well, and you know how I get distracted and how I procrastinate.  You know I allow these distractions from building a stronger relationship with you.  For life gets busy and and its easy to get distracted from what's important.  You know I procrastinate in my recovery and in my 12 steps.  Forgive me and be with me.  Help me overcome these distractions and procrastination that I may become stronger in my recovery.  That I may build a stronger relationship with you.  That I may serve you more effectively.  That I may, like Psalm 149 says, sing to You a new song.  That I may sing You a song, that others hear and will want to sing-along to.  For your work is glorious and long to pay tribute to You.  Praise Ye the Lord.  Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 148 (KJV): Praise him, all ye stars of light

Psalm 148

¹Praise ye the LORD.

Praise ye the LORD from the heavens:
      praise him in the heights.
²Praise ye him, all his angels:
      praise ye him, all his hosts.
³Praise ye him, sun and moon:
      praise him, all ye stars of light.
⁴Praise him, ye heavens of heavens,
      and ye waters that be above the heavens.

⁵Let them praise the name of the Lord:
      for he commanded, and they were created.
⁶He hath also stablished them for ever and ever:
      he hath made a decree which shall not pass.

⁷Praise the LORD from the earth,
      ye dragons, and all deeps:
⁸Fire, and hail; snow, and vapours;
      stormy wind fulfilling his word:
⁹Mountains, and all hills;
      fruitful trees, and all cedars:
¹⁰Beasts, and all cattle;
      creeping things, and flying fowl:
¹¹Kings of the earth, and all people;
      princes, and all judges of the earth:
¹²Both young men, and maidens;
      old men, and children:

¹³Let them praise the name of the LORD:
      for his name alone is excellent;
      his glory is above the earth and heaven.
¹⁴He also exalteth the horn of his people,
      the praise of all his saints;
      even of the children of Israel, a people near unto him.

Praise ye the LORD.

Everyone and everything praise God.  Reading Psalm 148 feels like Christmas in August.  Surely we can be grateful for all of God's gifts.  His grace, His word, His beatitudes...all of His gifts.  Our riches, our friends and family, our sobriety.  Being a Christian is not necessarily all happiness, however, every day God gives us something, or some things, to celebrate.  Whether that's being sober, or having another day with our families,  or having His forgiveness, our task is to find that thing, or things, and celebrate them.  Then acknowledge and give credit to God for those thing.  From that respect, by celebrating His gifts and showing others His hope, we have the capacity to shine His light.  Not just to reflect His light, but to be His light...in this world.  So, let's praise Him, all ye stars of light.

Dear God, thank you for your gifts.  You have taught me patience.  You have brought me love and self control.  Without you I would likely be alone and miserable.  I would be blaming others for my downfall.  Instead, though You, I am successful in my sobriety.  I owe my life, and the successes in my life, to Your brilliance, Your power, and Your word.  Truly we should all be able to see Your gifts and praise Your name.  Let this psalm fall over others that we all may give You the credit.  Thank you for all Your blessings - Hallelu Yah.  Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 147 (KJV): The Lord doth...bindeth up their wounds

Psalm 147

¹Praise ye the LORD:

for it is good to sing praises unto our God;
      for it is pleasant; and praise is comely.

²The LORD doth build up Jerusalem:
      he gathereth together the outcasts of Israel.
³He healeth the broken in heart,
      and bindeth up their wounds.
⁴He telleth the number of the stars;
      he calleth them all by their names.
⁵Great is our Lord, and of great power:
      his understanding is infinite.
⁶The LORD lifteth up the meek:
      he casteth the wicked down to the ground.

⁷Sing unto the LORD with thanksgiving;
      sing praise upon the harp unto our God:
⁸Who covereth the heaven with clouds,
      who prepareth rain for the earth,
      who maketh grass to grow upon the mountains.
⁹He giveth to the beast his food,
      and to the young ravens which cry.
¹⁰He delighteth not in the strength of the horse:
      he taketh not pleasure in the legs of a man.
¹¹The LORD taketh pleasure in them that fear him,
      in those that hope in his mercy.

¹²Praise the LORD, O Jerusalem;
      praise thy God, O Zion.
¹³For he hath strengthened the bars of thy gates;
      he hath blessed thy children within thee.
¹⁴He maketh peace in thy borders,
      and filleth thee with the finest of the wheat.
¹⁵He sendeth forth his commandment upon earth:
      his word runneth very swiftly.
¹⁶He giveth snow like wool:
      he scattereth the hoarfrost like ashes.
¹⁷He casteth forth his ice like morsels:
      who can stand before his cold?
¹⁸He sendeth out his word, and melteth them:
      he causeth his wind to blow, and the waters flow.
¹⁹He sheweth his word unto Jacob,
      his statutes and his judgments unto Israel.
²⁰He hath not dealt so with any nation:
      and as for his judgments, they have not known them.

Praise ye the Lord.

Psalm 147 is the second of the five "Hallelu Yah" psalms, 146-150.  It's rather fitting to end the book of Psalms, and my journey, with the Psalms that "praise the Lord" (the literal meaning of Hallelu Yah).  The theme of this Hallelu Yah psalm is rebuilding of Isreal after the destruction from the Babylonians.  And like the Isrealites in Psalm 147, addicts have rebuilding to do.

Recovery from addiction is about healing, mending broken hearts and wounds - and of course rebuilding.  Rebuilding our lives and the lives of those around us, whose lives we impacted in our addiction.  For, as JK Rowling has said of her story, "Rock bottom is a great foundation to build success."  And so it is we call on our great and powerful God to start the process of rebuilding.

God, be with us today in our process of healing and rebuilding.  Some us are just starting and others are continuing.  Whatever the case, the path to recovery seems long - and often too difficult to be achievable.  Remind us that, just as Israel took a group of people over several years to rebuild, so too will our lives.  Remind us that it took several years for our addictions to break things apart - and that it will take several years to put it back together.  Be with us and give us the strength and support our process of rebuilding.  We do it to heal and mend our wounds.  We do it to rebuild our relationships.  Your greatness, God, makes for a great recovery.  I have seen Your love being rebuilt in my life, I pray that this is something I can share that others may see this love in their lives, too.  In Your name I pray - Hallelu Yah - Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 146: Happy is he...whose hope in the Lord

Psalm 146

¹Praise ye the LORD.
      Praise the LORD, O my soul.
²While I live will I praise the LORD:
      I will sing praises unto my God while I have any being.
³Put not your trust in princes,
      nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help.
⁴His breath goeth forth, he returneth to his earth;
      in that very day his thoughts perish.
⁵Happy is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help,
      whose hope is in the LORD his God:

⁶Which made heaven, and earth,
      the sea, and all that therein is:
      which keepeth truth for ever:
⁷ Which executeth judgment for the oppressed:
      which giveth food to the hungry.
      The LORD looseth the prisoners:
⁸The LORD openeth the eyes of the blind:
      the LORD raiseth them that are bowed down:
      the LORD loveth the righteous:
⁹The LORD preserveth the strangers;
      he relieveth the fatherless and widow:
      but the way of the wicked he turneth upside down.

¹⁰The LORD shall reign for ever,
      even thy God, O Zion, unto all generations.

Praise ye the Lord.

Nowadays we put hope in our morning cup of coffee - that it will wake us up and get us going in the morning. We put our hope in technology - that it will make our lives easier and more organized.  We put hope in - big titles and big promotions, that those things will help us worry less about money and feel more satisfied.  As addicts we put our hope in our addictions, that those things will help us to relax, or feel better, or forget our problems.  However, we all know those hopes are false.  They leave us only wanting and needing more.  This never-ending cycle of desire, gratification, desire, turns our lives upside down and leaves us wicked.

Truly happy people are those who are able to put their hope in our higher power - God.  His hope leaves us satisfied, feeling whole.  He gives us all that we need.  When we are at the end of our rope, when temptation has us in its traps, when there seems nothing left to live for - we can turn it all over to Him.  That is if we're ready to trust in Him.  We come to learn that our addictions are more powerful than us - and so only God can free of us these chains.  When we're ready, he does free us of those chains.  When we're ready he shines a light.  He sets us on the right path, and on the road to recovery.  So, put your hope in the Lord and recovery will follow.  This you can believe.

Dear Lord, thank you for your blessings.  Thank you for sobriety - after years of knowing nothing but intoxication.  Thank you for the chance to serve.  For it has been in serving that I have found my place.  Thank you for your lessons, which You teach everyday. The lessons teach me patience, humility, calm, honesty, and to be more like Your son, Jesus.  For I am only human, and left to my own devices, I will be selfish, greedy, proud, and deceiving.  Most of all I thank you for You hope.  I ask that you be with the addicts that still suffer.  Help them find hope in You.  Bring them a message that will help find the light that You shine.  The light that leads from the pit of addiction to path of recovery.  Be with them because the world of addiction is a confusing place.  One where, as You well know, life makes little sense.  Addicts need You to be the hope that brings sense and purpose to the world.  In your name I pray - AMEN.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 145: The Lord is nigh unto all them that call upon him

Psalm 145
(A psalm of praise.  Of David.)

¹I will extol thee, my God, O king;
      and I will bless thy name for ever and ever.
²Every day will I bless thee;
      and I will praise thy name for ever and ever.

³Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised;
      and his greatness is unsearchable.
⁴One generation shall praise thy works to another,
      and shall declare thy mighty acts.
⁵I will speak of the glorious honour of thy majesty,
      and of thy wondrous works.
⁶And men shall speak of the might of thy terrible acts:
      and I will declare thy greatness.
⁷They shall abundantly utter the memory of thy great goodness,
      and shall sing of thy righteousness.

⁸The LORD is gracious, and full of compassion;
      slow to anger, and of great mercy.

⁹The LORD is good to all:
      and his tender mercies are over all his works.
¹⁰All thy works shall praise thee, O LORD;
      and thy saints shall bless thee.
¹¹They shall speak of the glory of thy kingdom,
      and talk of thy power;
¹²To make known to the sons of men his mighty acts,
      and the glorious majesty of his kingdom.
¹³Thy kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
      and thy dominion endureth throughout all generations.

¹⁴The LORD upholdeth all that fall,
      and raiseth up all those that be bowed down.
¹⁵The eyes of all wait upon thee;
      and thou givest them their meat in due season.
¹⁶Thou openest thine hand,
      and satisfiest the desire of every living thing.

¹⁷The LORD is righteous in all his ways,
      and holy in all his works.
¹⁸The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him,
      to all that call upon him in truth.
¹⁹He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him:
      he also will hear their cry, and will save them.
²⁰The LORD preserveth all them that love him:
      but all the wicked will he destroy.
²¹My mouth shall speak the praise of the LORD:
      and let all flesh bless his holy name for ever and ever.

Often, when I view these psalms I see the "fallen" as the psalmist (David) here in verse 14 discusses as being addicts.  The same is true for verses 18 and 19, for the followers that reach out and cry out to the Lord, again as being addicts.  Unfortunately, the problems that addicts create are not restricted to themselves.  As addicts we involve other victims - more often than not the people we love and cherish the most.  More often than not these people in our lives have a much better perspective on our addictions and problems.  So, it goes that they are the most likely to be calling upon God.  So, today's prayer is for the victims of addicts, of which there are many who suffer silently often in a battle with an addict unwilling to see the reality of their ways.

Today, Lord, I pray for the victims of addicts.  For the ones we love the most are also the ones that we hurt the most in our addictions.  We steal from them; steal their money, steal their time, and abuse their love.  We spend money on addictions, when it is needed to support the ones we love.  We spend time in our addictions, when what we really need is to spend time with the ones we love.  Lord, may you hold up our victims.  Give them the strength they need to face the problems, which we, the addicts, create.  Help the addicts in their lives find a path to recovery - for the sake of the victims.  These loved ones in our lives grow weary of our addict nature, our dishonesty, our secrets, and our stealing.  Be their rocks and help their relationships be recovered.  Restore the trust and the faith that is needed for these relationships to be strong.  Both with You and with each other.  God be with them and be with all of us.  In Your name I pray - Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 144: Blessed be the Lord my strength/my rock

Psalm 144
(τω δαυιδ προς τον γολιαδ: Of David against Goliath.)

¹Blessed be the LORD my strength
      which teacheth my hands to war,
      and my fingers to fight:
²My goodness, and my fortress;
      my high tower, and my deliverer;
my shield, and he in whom I trust;
      who subdueth my people under me.

³LORD, what is man, that thou takest knowledge of him!
      or the son of man, that thou makest account of him!
⁴Man is like to vanity:
      his days are as a shadow that passeth away.

⁵Bow thy heavens, O LORD, and come down:
      touch the mountains, and they shall smoke.
⁶Cast forth lightning, and scatter them:
      shoot out thine arrows, and destroy them.
⁷Send thine hand from above;
      rid me,
and deliver me out of great waters,
      from the hand of strange children;
⁸Whose mouth speaketh vanity,
      and their right hand is a right hand of falsehood.

⁹I will sing a new song unto thee, O God:
      upon a psaltery and an instrument of ten strings will I sing praises unto thee.
¹⁰It is he that giveth salvation unto kings:
      who delivereth David his servant from the hurtful sword.
¹¹Rid me, and deliver me from the hand of strange children,
      whose mouth speaketh vanity,
      and their right hand is a right hand of falsehood:

¹²That our sons may be as plants
      grown up in their youth;
that our daughters may be as corner stones,
      polished after the similitude of a palace:
¹³That our garners may be full,
      affording all manner of store:
that our sheep may bring forth thousands
      and ten thousands in our streets:
¹⁴That our oxen may be strong to labour;
      that there be no breaking in, nor going out;
      that there be no complaining in our streets.
¹⁵Happy is that people, that is in such a case:
      yea, happy is that people, whose God is the LORD.

I have often heard that the Lord is my rock, as in a firm foundation.  However, the Lord is my rock, in the context of David and Goliath, is a whole new meaning.  He is David's strength and my power, not just a foundation for his strength, but quite literally everything that allowed David to defeat Goliath.  What do you think you need to be successful?  To conquer your demons?  God will not only grant that which you need, God is that which you need.

Lord, you are the rock in our lives, our refuge, our strength.  You are what we need to conquer our demons, what we need to overcome our enemies, and to accomplish our goals.  I know I don't live like that's what I believe.  Sometimes I get caught up in the rat race and I place my selfish desires ahead of you.  When I see I am making that mistake I try to correct myself.  However, I know all my success in my recovery has Your fingerprint on it.  My success has come from these Psalms and the 12 steps.  In these things I see you.  You are the 12 steps and you are my Psalms - You are my strength and my rock.  I pray that through this other can see that You can be their rock, too.  Help me live a life that praises You, and that others can see the power of Your way of life.  In your sons name, Jesus Christ, I pray.  Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 143: Cause me to know the way

Psalm 143
(A psalm of David.)

¹Hear my prayer, O LORD,
      give ear to my supplications:
in thy faithfulness answer me,
      and in thy righteousness.
²And enter not into judgment with thy servant:
      for in thy sight shall no man living be justified.
³For the enemy hath persecuted my soul;
      he hath smitten my life down to the ground;
he hath made me to dwell in darkness,
      as those that have been long dead.
⁴Therefore is my spirit overwhelmed within me;
      my heart within me is desolate.
⁵I remember the days of old;
      I meditate on all thy works;
      I muse on the work of thy hands.
⁶I stretch forth my hands unto thee:
      my soul thirsteth after thee, as a thirsty land.                Selah.

⁷Hear me speedily, O LORD:
      my spirit faileth:
hide not thy face from me,
      lest I be like unto them that go down into the pit.
⁸Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning;
      for in thee do I trust:
cause me to know the way wherein I should walk;
      for I lift up my soul unto thee.
⁹Deliver me, O Lord, from mine enemies:
      I flee unto thee to hide me.
¹⁰Teach me to do thy will;
      for thou art my God:
thy spirit is good;
      lead me into the land of uprightness.

¹¹Quicken me, O LORD, for thy name's sake:
      for thy righteousness' sake bring my soul out of trouble.
¹²And of thy mercy cut off mine enemies,
      and destroy all them that afflict my soul:
      for I am thy servant.

Oh Lord, I lift my soul to thee.  You have given me great gifts and I can see you work in the changes in my life and my body.  Cause me to hear thy loving kindness in the morning - help me here the poetry and music of your creation as I start everyday.  Teach me to do thy will - for thou art my Lord.  Help me be a light for Your message and Your way of life.  Quicken me *gulp* O Lord - prepare me for that path you have intended me for.  I have been through much, and despite the fact that I am not looking forward to more quickening, I do know that much good will come of it.  By going through more quickening or strengthening I know You bring my soul out of trouble.  I have faith in this and so I am your willing servant.  All this I pray in your name - AMEN.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 142: Bring my soul out of prison

Psalm 142
(A maskil of David. When he was in the cave. A prayer.)

¹I cried unto the LORD with my voice;
      with my voice unto the LORD did I make my supplication.
²I poured out my complaint before him;
      I shewed before him my trouble.

³When my spirit was overwhelmed within me,
      then thou knewest my path.
In the way wherein I walked
      have they privily laid a snare for me.
⁴I looked on my right hand, and beheld,
      but there was no man that would know me:
refuge failed me;
      no man cared for my soul.

⁵I cried unto thee, O LORD:
      I said, Thou art my refuge
      and my portion in the land of the living.

⁶Attend unto my cry;
      for I am brought very low:
deliver me from my persecutors;
      for they are stronger than I.
⁷Bring my soul out of prison,
      that I may praise thy name:
the righteous shall compass me about;
      for thou shalt deal bountifully with me.

OK, I've never been hiding out in a cave the way David has, but I do know what it feels to have "my spirit was overwhelmed within me."  I also know what it feels like to be trapped in situation, to feel like my soul is in a prison.  Both during my days addiction and in my days of recovery.  Make no mistake that these situations don't go away in recovery.  The difference is in my response to these situations.  Rather than responding by ignoring the problems and drowning myself in alcohol, or turning to strip bars and porn, I rely on my faith.  I now realize that my problems are not so unique.  That I am not the only man who sometimes disagrees with his wife.  That I am not the only person who has had a horrible boss.  So, now I ask people for help.  I tell people what I honestly feel - not what I think they want to hear.  This has given me incredible freedom.  For this incredible freedom, I have God to thank.

Dear Lord, thank you for your support and courage.  Continue to guide me when I feel lost.  Hold me up when I am tired - seemingly too tied to even pray.  Help me be a light for others who face similar struggles with addiction.  Lead me not into temptation and continue to deliver me from the prison of addiction.  As you know this struggle is one I (and all addicts) face on a daily basis.  Just as you there with me, be there for others who seek a road of recovery.  Bring people into their lives that can guide them and give them hope.  For those who love addicts, also give them hope and free them from their prisons.  For their spirits' overwhelm them, too.  For addicts are a handful, alcoholics tend to hurt and abuse the ones they love the most.  Indeed you know their paths, and few people are there for them.  Be there for them and they will praise your name.  It is in your son Jesus Christ's name that I pray these things - AMEN.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 141: Let the righteous smite me; it shall be kindness

Psalm 141
(A psalm of David.)

¹LORD, I cry unto thee: make haste unto me;
      give ear unto my voice, when I cry unto thee.
²Let my prayer be set forth before thee as incense;
      and the lifting up of my hands as the evening sacrifice.

³Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth;
      keep the door of my lips.
⁴Incline not my heart to any evil thing,
      to practise wicked works
with men that work iniquity:
      and let me not eat of their dainties.

⁵Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness:
      and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil,
which shall not break my head:
      for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.

⁶When their judges are overthrown in stony places,
      they shall hear my words; for they are sweet.
⁷Our bones are scattered at the grave's mouth,
      as when one cutteth and cleaveth wood upon the earth.

⁸But mine eyes are unto thee, O God the LORD:
      in thee is my trust; leave not my soul destitute.
⁹Keep me from the snares which they have laid for me,
      and the gins of the workers of iniquity.
¹⁰Let the wicked fall into their own nets,
      whilst that I withal escape.

Hi my name is Rex and I'm an alcoholic and a sex addict.  This is the most honest thing I can say about myself.  It's cleansing, kind of a relief, to share this, which I hide and I lie about everyday.  All day long we hide behind facades of what we think we are and how we think people perceive us.  Behind those facades where we hide our weaknesses, our threats, our fears, our lies...and of course our addictions.  As I read verse 5 of psalm 141 I realize that we need to expose these things in order to start the recovery process.  Having a righteous person reprove or rebuke us is one way to help us expose these weaknesses.  In this way it kindness and oil on our head.  Obviously, in the moment, exposing and acknowledging these weaknesses and short coming is never painless.  However, it is a necessary step in the recovery process.  Recovery can never happen without admitting to these weaknesses and fears.  Therefore exposing them is a gift.  After all we are all human and all suffer from some weaknesses and fears.  Recovery is about changing the way we respond to their existence.

Dear God, as the psalmist...err...David, in this case, writes: "Incline not my heart to any evil thing," and further, "Keep me from the snares which" which evil men have laid for me.  Instead, help me keep "mine eyes unto thee, O God the Lord."  For it is in Your name and Your word that I have faith.  When I focus on You and Your word I am not tempted.  As long as I maintain this focus, You give me the strength to overcome my temptations.  For this I am grateful.  Let my example also help and give strength to the other addicts that suffer.  Let my example also help expose the weaknesses and lies for those other addicts - that they, too, may start their process of recovery.  It is in Your name and Your word that I pray.  Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 140: I know that the Lord will maintain the cause of the afflicted

Psalm 140
¹Deliver me, O LORD, from the evil man:
      preserve me from the violent man;
²Which imagine mischiefs in their heart;
      continually are they gathered together for war.
³They have sharpened their tongues like a serpent;
      adders' poison is under their lips.                          Selah.

⁴Keep me, O Lord, from the hands of the wicked;
      preserve me from the violent man;
      who have purposed to overthrow my goings.
⁵The proud have hid a snare for me, and cords;
      they have spread a net by the wayside;
      they have set gins for me.                                     Selah.

⁶I said unto the LORD, Thou art my God:
      hear the voice of my supplications, O LORD.
⁷O God the LORD, the strength of my salvation,
      thou hast covered my head in the day of battle.
⁸Grant not, O LORD, the desires of the wicked:
      further not his wicked device;
      lest they exalt themselves.                                     Selah.

⁹As for the head of those that compass me about,
      let the mischief of their own lips cover them.
¹⁰Let burning coals fall upon them:
      let them be cast into the fire;
      into deep pits, that they rise not up again.
¹¹Let not an evil speaker be established in the earth:
      evil shall hunt the violent man to overthrow him.

¹²I know that the LORD will maintain the cause of the afflicted,
      and the right of the poor.
¹³Surely the righteous shall give thanks unto thy name:
      the upright shall dwell in thy presence.

O God, be with me today, as You are the strength of my salvation.  Without you, my goal of sobriety for today will not be possible.  Sometimes I feel like the evil man that is out to get me is myself.  Nevertheless, I know that you will maintain the cause of the afflicted.  I know that you have your hand on me and will watch out for me today - like you have so many days in the past.  I have faith that you will cast aside the evil temptations, the cords and deep pits which trap and bind me up.  I have faith that you will continue to be my strength to deal with those temptations, and deliver me safely to the end of the day sober.  At the end of this sober day, and all sober days, I will give thanks to You for this salvation.  Selah...and Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 139:16-24 (KJV): Search me God and know my heart

Psalm 139:16-24
¹⁶Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect;
      and in thy book all my members were written,
which in continuance were fashioned,
      when as yet there was none of them.
¹⁷How precious also are thy thoughts unto me,
      O God! how great is the sum of them!
¹⁸If I should count them,
      they are more in number than the sand:
      when I awake, I am still with thee.

¹⁹Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God:
      depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.
²⁰For they speak against thee wickedly,
      and thine enemies take thy name in vain.
²¹Do not I hate them, O Lord, that hate thee?
      and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee?
²²I hate them with perfect hatred:
      I count them mine enemies.
²³Search me, O God, and know my heart:
      try me, and know my thoughts:
²⁴And see if there be any wicked way in me,
      and lead me in the way everlasting.

This last part of psalm 139, for me, strikes at the personal nature of God.  He knows us all even before we are formed (verse 16) - and has a plan for us despite our imperfections.  That despite what face or personality we share with the rest of the world God knows the truth in our hearts.  He is aware of our vanity, greed, hatred - our weaknesses - any wickedness (verse 24).  He is also aware to the extent we are good - how deep our faith is.  How much we are truly committed to live the life he intends for us.  How much we are willing to sacrifice.

Dear Lord, you know my heart and have always known my heart.  You know I struggle with my addictions.  You know of my potential for you have blessed me with great gifts.  You have seen me leverage your gifts and blessing to use them to demonstrate your power.  You have also seen me waste those gifts and possibly even abuse them for selfish gains.  Be with me, as you are with all addicts, forgive me of those sins and lead me in Your way.  Guide me in your plan for me that I may be an example of Your light.  Help me root out the evil and sin in my heart and replace it with love.  For it is by Your son's example, Jesus, that I have learned the most effective weapon against hate is love.  Hate only begets more hate.  However, love is the only thing that destroys hate.  In that way, help me slay the wicked and sinful - not with equal and opposite hatred but with love.  For my hope is that people can tell that I am a follower of Christ by the way I love, and have loved.  It is in Your son's name that I pray for a changed and blessed heart.  Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 139:1-15 (KJV): In the midst of trouble thou wilt revive me

Psalm 139:1-15
(For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.)

¹I will praise thee with my whole heart:
      before the gods will I sing praise unto thee.
²I will worship toward thy holy temple,
      and praise thy name for thy lovingkindness and for thy truth:
for thou hast magnified thy word above all thy name.
³In the day when I cried thou answeredst me,
      and strengthenedst me with strength in my soul.
⁴All the kings of the earth shall praise thee,
      O LORD, when they hear the words of thy mouth.
⁵Yea, they shall sing in the ways of the Lord:
      for great is the glory of the Lord.
⁶Though the Lord be high,
      yet hath he respect unto the lowly:
but the proud he knoweth afar off.

⁷Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
      thou wilt revive me:
thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies,
      and thy right hand shall save me.
⁸The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me:
      thy mercy, O Lord, endureth for ever:
      forsake not the works of thine own hands.
⁹If I take the wings of the morning,
      and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
¹⁰Even there shall thy hand lead me,
      and thy right hand shall hold me.
¹¹If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me;
      even the night shall be light about me.
¹²Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee;
      but the night shineth as the day:
      the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.

¹³For thou hast possessed my reins:
      thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.
¹⁴I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made:
      marvellous are thy works;
      and that my soul knoweth right well.
¹⁵My substance was not hid from thee,
      when I was made in secret,
      and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

I heard an inspirational speech yesterday...some of which I'd like to share today.  There were three premises in the speech.  The first is that successful people fail often.  The second is that your capacity for failure will limit your capability for success.  The last, in order for you to be successful you must, not only be willing to fail, you must embrace failure as a path.

Why is this important for addicts?  It is important because a big part of recovery is overcoming our fears.  Our minds create these horrible perspectives of failure, which paralyze us in fear.  Our minds also create these images of other people that nobody has failed the way we have failed.  Nobody has the same obstacles that we face.  Everybody else has much better opportunities than we have.

How do we overcome that?  We have to have faith that out of every failure comes opportunity for a new beginning.  That in the midst of all problems God has His hand on us.  When I talk to many people who are successful in one way or another at some point in their lives they took a leap of faith.  They saw an opportunity and went for it.  Bet on a long shot.  Followed their heart.  Listened to the voice in their head.  Did what they knew was right.  And somewhere along the way trusted in God.  That no matter how bad it could get knew they would be caught.

Dear Lord.  Thank you for your messages in my life.  Thank you for reviving in the midst of troubles.  For showing me, no matter, how big the risks my mind portrays - the truth is that with You anything is possible.  If I can dream something I can realize it.  If I can visualize days and weeks of sobriety I can experience days and weeks of sobriety.  Thank you for the strength I need to overcome my fears.  Thank you for courage to look for and ask for help when I need it.  Continue to help me be honest with myself and others.  Be with other addicts who struggle with fears.  Give them the support and inspiration they need to be courageous and daring.  Give us the inspiration to pursue our dreams.  Give us the courage to speak our minds and to spread Your message.  In Jesus name I praise Thee.  Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 138: In the day when I cried thou answeredst me

Psalm 138
(Of David.)

¹I will praise thee with my whole heart:
      before the gods will I sing praise unto thee.
²I will worship toward thy holy temple,
      and praise thy name for thy lovingkindness and for thy truth:
      for thou hast magnified thy word above all thy name.
³In the day when I cried thou answeredst me,
      and strengthenedst me with strength in my soul.

⁴All the kings of the earth shall praise thee,
      O LORD, when they hear the words of thy mouth.
⁵Yea, they shall sing in the ways of the LORD:
      for great is the glory of the LORD.

⁶Though the LORD be high, yet hath he respect unto the lowly:
      but the proud he knoweth afar off.
⁷Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
      thou wilt revive me:
thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies,
      and thy right hand shall save me.
⁸The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me:
      thy mercy, O LORD, endureth for ever:
      forsake not the works of thine own hands.

Although I walk in trouble, God will revive me.  He stretches our his hand against those things that keep me down.  He keeps his hand on me - His love endures forever.  At the risk of sounding cliche, God has changed my life.  God has given me a new path.  God has given me a choice, an alternative not just addiction, but an alternative to the options of what media and marketing offer up to us everyday.  An alternative to the "buy your way to happiness" mentalities we're sold everyday.  We all know that we can't buy our way to happiness.  Nor can the luxurious meals, alcohol, sex, or any other products that they sell give us any meaningful happiness.  We know this because we've been let down by all that many times before.  Yet, somehow, we still fall into those traps though...time and again.  These consumer traps keep us down much in the same way addiction does.

It can be over though.  The alternative is the path that Christ shared.  One instead of focusing on ourselves and selfish happiness we focus on Christ's message and we focus on others.  Because true happiness is not found in the next great gadget, or the next great beauty product, or the next tastiest desert.  True happiness is found in love.  Love is found whenever and wherever we give of ourselves.  Especially when we sacrifice in the name of others.  For in order to get a hug you need to give a hug.  For those who forgive will be forgiven.  Those who give will receive.  This learning has been a big part of my recovery.

O Lord, may your hand and your mercy be with me and my work.  May your light shine through my work.  I will never forget the day more than two years ago, I cried out and you answered.  May you guide me in answering the cries of other addicts in their time of need.  That I may show them and demonstrate your path in their lives.  May I also show your grace in my life and my choices so that I forgive those who have hurt me and let go of my resentments.  That I will seek your grace and humility in situations where my pride and competitive greed would be a natural tendency.  For the path that You offer is unique in its ability to being true happiness and true hope.  I know if I can demonstrate the power and love of Your path I can bring hope where there is despair.  I pray I can be that instrument of hope and peace.  Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 137: How shall we sing the Lord's song while in a strange land?

Psalm 137

¹By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, yea, we wept,
      when we remembered Zion.
²We hanged our harps
      upon the willows in the midst thereof.
³For there they that carried us away captive required of us a song;
      and they that wasted us required of us mirth,
      saying, Sing us one of the songs of Zion.

⁴How shall we sing the LORD's song
      in a strange land?
⁵If I forget thee, O Jerusalem,
      let my right hand forget her cunning.
⁶If I do not remember thee,
      let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth;
if I prefer not Jerusalem above
      my chief joy.

⁷Remember, O Lord, the children of Edom in the day of Jerusalem;
      who said, Rase it, rase it, even to the foundation thereof.
⁸O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed;
      happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us.
⁹Happy shall he be, that taketh
      and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

The setting for Psalm 137 is Babylon after they had taken the Israelites captive out of the homeland.  How could the Isrealites sing for Babylonians the song(s) of our Lord?   They have brought so much pain and suffering to the Israelites.  Some scholars point out that those who are happy at calamities, especially the calamities of Israel, shall not go on unpunished.  However, I believe in these situations we shall hope for God to intercede.  For in the Lord's prayer we learn that we cannot be forgiven unless we first forgive others.  We must remember that Jesus died for the forgive of us our sins - he paid the ultimate price for us.  So, as hard as it may seem, when people trespass against we must forgive them.

Lord, our father in heaven.  Hallowed be thy name.  Thy Kingdom come.  Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us today our daily bread.  Forgives us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.  Lead us us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.  For thine is the power and the glory forever.

For if we give those who sin against us - your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  Amen

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 136:14-26 (KJV): To him which led his people through the wilderness

Psalm 136: 14-26
¹⁴And made Israel to pass through the midst of it:
      for his mercy endureth for ever:
¹⁵But overthrew Pharaoh and his host in the Red sea:
      for his mercy endureth for ever.

¹⁶To him which led his people through the wilderness:
      for his mercy endureth for ever.

¹⁷To him which smote great kings:
      for his mercy endureth for ever:
¹⁸And slew famous kings:
      for his mercy endureth for ever:
¹⁹Sihon king of the Amorites:
      for his mercy endureth for ever:
²⁰And Og the king of Bashan:
      for his mercy endureth for ever:
²¹And gave their land for an heritage:
      for his mercy endureth for ever:
²²Even an heritage unto Israel his servant:
      for his mercy endureth for ever.

²³Who remembered us in our low estate:
      for his mercy endureth for ever:
²⁴And hath redeemed us from our enemies:
      for his mercy endureth for ever.
²⁵Who giveth food to all flesh:
      for his mercy endureth for ever.

²⁶O give thanks unto the God of heaven:
      for his mercy endureth for ever.

Today my blog format changes slightly.  Every now and then life...I'm not sure if it's God this time...but life throws us a curve ball.  It could be God testing my commitment to my recovery, I suppose.  I any case the curveball, today, came in the form of Google migrating its Picasa platform to Google Plus.  Normally, I guess this shouldn't be a big deal.  However, in Google Plus there's no longer a "link to this photo" option.  So, I had to import the photo manually - which created a bit of a format change - and took some time to set-up.  Hence some of the delay in getting this blog up.

The point of all this, is this, just as we get comfortable, things change, and we have to adapt.  That's all part of the story.  Some changes are going to be acceptable and easy to manage.  Others, especially when we're more set in our ways, are going to seem near impossible to get used to.  These changes bring fear, frustration, and in extreme cases, threaten us.  If we learn to rely on our faith in times of small change, then we will tend to rely on our faith in times of large, or larger, change.

As was the case for God's people, here in Psalm 136, whom he brought out of Egypt, and brought change into their lives.  The journey through desert is likely a good metaphor for change.  Especially, in our case of recovery.  Our journey through recovery seems long and arduous, lonely and overwhelming.  We may feel like we are wandering at times.  Nevertheless, we need to learn from the Isrealites lessons that change is always an opportunity.  God brings these changes, with the fear and frustration, as opportunities to rely on our faith to reach a destination or goal.  Ultimately, a goal of some kind of salvation.

Lord, be with me today on my journey as I continue to experience changes.  Changes which will bring opportunities to more holy, and opportunities where I can continue to share your light.  As I experience these changes, whether small or large, help me and guide me so that my faith in you can grow and become stronger.  Help bring me to a point that my faith is so strong that I can truly embrace change without fear.  For I know that fear means failure.  For in fear we freeze, when we freeze we are incapable of growth.  Fear keeps me from a strong relationship with You, Lord.  Give me the faith and courage to live a life you intend.  In Yours sons name.  Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalms 136 (1-13) (KJV): His mercy endures for ever

From Psalms

Psalm 136 verses 1-13

¹O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good:
      for his mercy endureth for ever.
²O give thanks unto the God of gods:
      for his mercy endureth for ever.
³O give thanks to the Lord of lords:
      for his mercy endureth for ever.

⁴To him who alone doeth great wonders:
      for his mercy endureth for ever.
⁵To him that by wisdom made the heavens:
      for his mercy endureth for ever.
⁶To him that stretched out the earth above the waters:
      for his mercy endureth for ever. 
⁷To him that made great lights:
      for his mercy endureth for ever: 
⁸The sun to rule by day:
      for his mercy endureth for ever: 
⁹The moon and stars to rule by night:
      for his mercy endureth for ever.

¹⁰To him that smote Egypt in their firstborn:
      for his mercy endureth for ever: 
¹¹And brought out Israel from among them:
      for his mercy endureth for ever: 
¹²With a strong hand, and with a stretched out arm:
      for his mercy endureth for ever. 

¹³To him which divided the Red sea into parts:
      for his mercy endureth for ever:

I give thanks to the Lord for today's sobriety - His love endures forever.  It is true that sobriety and recovery is a one-step-at-a-time journey, and I need to remember to be grateful for every day I am given.  Not for a total number of days - but just for today.  I have also learned that success in recovery comes from focusing on the here and now - and staying focused on God's path for us.  Getting distracted, like idle hands, is a death sentence for recovery.

Lord, I thank you for today's sobriety and healing.  You have worked miracles with your hands - and my sobriety is truly one of those miracles.  You took me, and my life, from a pit.  You blessed me, and brought me to a truly great place.  You showed me the path of the twelve steps.  You brought people into my life who cared and lifted me out.  They shared their experiences with me - and let me share my struggles with them.  They showed me that I wasn't alone, and that I'm still not alone.  They showed me if we worked together we could be successful in our recovery.  Truly my journey shows that your love and mercy endures forever.  For this love, and for this mercy, I am grateful forever.  Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 135 (KJV): Praise ye the Lord

From Psalms

Psalm 135

¹Praise ye the LORD.

Praise ye the name of the LORD;
      praise him, O ye servants of the LORD.
²Ye that stand in the house of the LORD,
      in the courts of the house of our God.

³Praise the LORD; for the LORD is good:
      sing praises unto his name; for it is pleasant.
⁴For the LORD hath chosen Jacob unto himself,
      and Israel for his peculiar treasure.

⁵For I know that the LORD is great,
      and that our Lord is above all gods.
⁶Whatsoever the LORD pleased,
      that did he in heaven, and in earth,
      in the seas, and all deep places.
⁷He causeth the vapours to ascend from the ends of the earth;
      he maketh lightnings for the rain;
      he bringeth the wind out of his treasuries.

⁸Who smote the firstborn of Egypt,
      both of man and beast.
⁹Who sent tokens and wonders into the midst of thee,
      O Egypt, upon Pharaoh, and upon all his servants.
¹⁰Who smote great nations,
      and slew mighty kings;
¹¹Sihon king of the Amorites,
      and Og king of Bashan,
      and all the kingdoms of Canaan:
¹²And gave their land for an heritage,
      an heritage unto Israel his people.

¹³Thy name, O LORD, endureth for ever;
      and thy memorial, O LORD, throughout all generations.
¹⁴For the LORD will judge his people,
      and he will repent himself concerning his servants.

¹⁵The idols of the heathen are silver and gold,
      the work of men's hands.
¹⁶They have mouths, but they speak not;
      eyes have they, but they see not;
¹⁷They have ears, but they hear not;
      neither is there any breath in their mouths.
¹⁸They that make them are like unto them:
      so is every one that trusteth in them.

¹⁹Bless the LORD, O house of Israel:
      bless the LORD, O house of Aaron:
²⁰Bless the LORD, O house of Levi:
      ye that fear the LORD, bless the Lord.
²¹Blessed be the LORD out of Zion,
      which dwelleth at Jerusalem.

Praise ye the LORD.

Here I sit on Easter Weekend counting my blessings.  I am sober.  I have my health, my family, and everything I could ever need.  I managed to survive another season of lent without exploding, despite what my mind tells my body.  Throughout the last six week my mind tried to tell my body that another day without caffeine or chocolate or porn or alcohol and I would inevitably explode.  I prayed on what my mind was telling me...and realized that lent is a time to become closer to God through sacrifice.  I realized God would not let me parish in an act that was intended to bring me closer to him.

In many ways every sober day is a day of sacrifice for an addict, which can be used to bring us closer to God.  Every day we fight off the urges of our addiction with the risk that our bodies may explode if we don't get off the (water) wagon.  The question is not whether or not a thought about our addictions will cross our mind or not.  The question is how strong those thoughts will be.  The question is whether our faith in God, or a higher power, will be greater than these thoughts.

Praise ye the Lord, for You have delivered me through another season of lent - and shown to me, your power.  Shown to me, that resisting my addictions will not lead to me exploding - or any kind of certain death.  That I can avoid bars and strip bars without any negative consequences.  Shown that you can guide me to  alternatives to porn and alcohol.  That you can lead me in a better life in Your purpose.  Lead me in a life that has long-term rewards instead of immediate gratification.  A life that is full of love, joy, and opportunities - Your love, joy, and opportunities.   Of course, there will be tests.  Tests of my courage, tests of my faith, tests of my patience and perseverance.  These are required to ensure my commitment to You, my sobriety and my recovery.  However, I now look forward to these tests as opportunities.  That these will become opportunities to demonstrate my gifts and talents.  For I realize these gifts are blessings and must have opportunities to be demonstrated.  For these blessings, I am forever grateful.  In your name I give thanks.  Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalms 134: Behold bless all ye servants of the Lord

From Psalms

Psalm 134
<sup>(A Song of Ascents.)

1</sup>Behold, bless ye the Lord, all ye servants of the LORD,
      which by night stand in the house of the LORD.
²Lift up your hands in the sanctuary,
      and bless the LORD.

³The LORD that made heaven and earth
      bless thee out of Zion.

From Bible Study Tools, "We have now reached the last of the Gradual Psalms.  The Pilgrims are going home, and are singing the last song in their psalter. They leave early in the morning, before the day has fully commenced, for the journey is long for many of them.  While yet the night lingers they are on the move.  As soon as they are outside the gates they see the guards upon the temple wall, and the lamps shining from the windows of the chambers which surround the sanctuary; therefore, moved by the sight, they chant a farewell to the perpetual attendants upon the holy shrine.  Their parting exhortation arouses the priests to pronounce upon them a blessing out of the holy place: this benediction is contained in the third verse.  The priests as good as say, 'You have desired us to bless the Lord, and now we pray the Lord to bless you.'  The Psalm teaches us to pray for those who are continually ministering before the Lord."

For recovery from addiction is a journey like a pilgrimage.  It's a spiritual journey that transforms us and helps us see what we are truly capable of.  I read a statistic last week that most smokers will quit 9 times before quitting for good.  And in the same way alcoholics and sex addicts will often attempt this journey several times before becoming sober forever.  Nevertheless, it's a journey that must be made.  It's a journey that is not made alone.  Along the way we have people supporting and ministering us.  As we learn in psalm 134 we need to pray for those people who minister before the Lord.  The sponsors, the volunteers, the pastors, the friends...there are many supporters because the journey is long.  We pray for every one of the supporters.

Dear Lord.  Thank you for your blessings.  Today I would like to pray for my family.  For their support through these trying times.  Their understanding and love as I overcome this dangerous disease.  Please bless them and be with them.  I would like to pray for my church family without which I probably would not have started this journey.  Who helped me realize there was a path out.  Please bless them and be with them.  I would like to pray for the people in the meetings I attend, and my sponsors.  For they showed that I am not a freak and I am not alone.  Please bless them and be with them.  In your name I pray.  Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 133 (KJV): For the Lord commanded his blessing

From Psalms

Psalm 133
(A song of ascents.  Of David.)

¹Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
      for brethren to dwell together in unity!

²It is like the precious ointment upon the head,
      that ran down upon the beard,
even Aaron's beard:
      that went down to the skirts of his garments;
³As the dew of Hermon,
      and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion:
for there the Lord commanded the blessing,
      even life for evermore.

How good and pleasant it is when people live together in unity.  Now, maybe it's because of where I've lived or maybe I'm just skeptical by nature, but I don't see this very often.  Maybe that's why the idea of Christmas, peace on earth and good will to man, is so bold.  Which makes me think, couldn't so many things be solved if we could figure out how to have people live together in unity.  When we realize that which makes us different is so much smaller than what we have in common, it shouldn't be so hard.  Nevertheless, we are human and we have a driving need to win, a need to be right, and a need to get our share.

Dear Lord, thank you for your blessings and these words.  Lord be with us today.  Guide us in a path that helps us unite with our brothers and sisters, which you have intended for us.  Help us to forgive.  Help us let go of our selfish tendencies that we can be an instrument of this peace.  Help us apologize for our mistakes and to make amends where we have hurt others.  Help us to let go of our selfish tendencies that encourage a need to win in all situations.  Help us to find compromise.  Help us to realize that God as blessed us all equally and abundantly that we can share in His blessings.   Help us to see and use opportunities to pick-up and support our brothers and sisters in need.  That we may give them the strength and hope you bring into our lives.  Help us to say thank you when others pick us up, give us strength and give us hope.  Guide us in our emotions and temper our anger that we not do things we later regret.  Guide us in our choice of words that we may not say things that we would not want be said to us.  For these are just a few of things we need our lives to help us live in unity with our brothers and sisters - and living in unity is indeed a gift like a precious ointment.  In your son's name Jesus Christ we pray. Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 132 (KJV): Lord, remember David, and all his afflictions

From Psalms

Psalm 132
(A song of ascents.)

¹Lord, remember David,
      and all his afflictions:

²How he sware unto the LORD,
      and vowed unto the mighty God of Jacob;
³Surely I will not come into the tabernacle of my house,
      nor go up into my bed;
⁴I will not give sleep to mine eyes,
      or slumber to mine eyelids,
⁵Until I find out a place for the LORD,
      an habitation for the mighty God of Jacob.

⁶Lo, we heard of it at Ephratah:
      we found it in the fields of the wood.
⁷We will go into his tabernacles:
      we will worship at his footstool.
⁸Arise, O LORD, into thy rest;
      thou, and the ark of thy strength.
⁹Let thy priests be clothed with righteousness;
      and let thy saints shout for joy.

¹⁰For thy servant David's sake
      turn not away the face of thine anointed.

¹¹The LORD hath sworn in truth unto David;
      he will not turn from it;
Of the fruit of thy body
      will I set upon thy throne.
¹²If thy children will keep my covenant
      and my testimony that I shall teach them,
their children shall also
      sit upon thy throne for evermore.

¹³For the LORD hath chosen Zion;
      he hath desired it for his habitation.
¹⁴This is my rest for ever:
      here will I dwell; for I have desired it.
¹⁵I will abundantly bless her provision:
      I will satisfy her poor with bread.
¹⁶I will also clothe her priests with salvation:
      and her saints shall shout aloud for joy.

¹⁷There will I make the horn of David to bud:
      I have ordained a lamp for mine anointed.
¹⁸His enemies will I clothe with shame:
      but upon himself shall his crown flourish.

Wow, is this the longest song of ascent, or what?  I did a little research and indeed it is.  In fact, you can see when I initially wrote it (almost two years ago) I underestimated the length in the way the letters get so much smaller towards the bottom of the page.  In any case, I started this posting about a week ago thinking these songs of ascents are only 3-5 verses, only to be overwhelmed to put it off to a time I had more energy...and then the beast of procrastination set in.  The psalm got bigger and bigger, and the task became harder and harder.  And that's some of the tricks our mind plays on us - until our mind has made the task next to impossible.

Our minds are powerful in that way than can make things out to be bigger, or smaller, than they actually are.  In order to combat this I go to meetings where I can talk about my problems, my procrastination, my perception.  Where I find that I am not alone in my afflictions.  That others share my afflictions.  In order to combat my minds' perception I also pray.  I pray not to see things from my limited and selfish perspective, but rather that God will help me see things from His perspective.  That He will show me a new perspective that there will be hope, and a way that will guide me.

Dear Lord, as I pray to you today, and come into your tabernacles, continue to guide me.  Let me see through your eyes so that my perspective is clear.  Help me to see my afflictions and recognize them.  Then help me be willing to remove my afflictions.  Give me the strength I need to work for change in my life.  Give me community and family that will support me through our struggles and through this time of change.  Help to show me what You value.  When my priorities are misplaced - help me shift my priorities to those things that you value.  When I am doing work that is not valuable to You help me realize this and guide me to more important endeavors.  In your son's name I pray.  Amen.
Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 131 (KJV): Put your hope in the Lord

From Psalms

Psalm 131
(A song of ascents.  Of David.)

¹Lord, my heart is not haughty,
      nor mine eyes lofty:
neither do I exercise myself in great matters,
      or in things too high for me.
²Surely I have behaved and quieted myself,
      as a child that is weaned of his mother:
      my soul is even as a weaned child.

³Let Israel hope in the LORD
      from henceforth and for ever.

As I read this psalm today, I do not feel like a weaned child, who has quieted himself.  The psalms feed my soul to this day and help me connect with God.  Without the psalms I find myself slipping back into my addict.  Although I may not always act out, I slip into my old habits, which eventually lead me back to my life of regret.  This need for continuous psalms certainly does not make feel weaned.

Now you could argue that I have been weaned from my addictions, however, I don't know that my addictions ever fed me.  They certainly didn't provide the satisfaction or sustenance that I get from the psalms.

As I think about this more, as I get to the end of this short psalm, I realize that indeed the psalms do provide me with hope.  They allow me to put my faith in the Lord.  That is a lot.

Lord, be with me today and continue to guide me and provide Your hope in my journey - no matter what I may face.  When I face adversity, help me turn first to You instead of hiding in my addictions.  Let my faith in you be the model You desire.  Let me provide Your hope to others.  That my daily victory over addiction can provide hope for other addicts that suffer.  That my daily victory over addiction can provide hope for people who are watching other addicts suffer.  Provide hope that there is a way out, through the 12 steps and through your word.  That there is a way to cut the cords of addiction that snare us and entangle us.  Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 130: In His word do I hope

From Psalms

Psalm 130
(A song of ascents.)

¹Out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O Lord.
²Lord, hear my voice:
let thine ears be attentive
      to the voice of my supplications.

³If thou, Lord, shouldest mark iniquities,
      O Lord, who shall stand?
⁴But there is forgiveness with thee,
      that thou mayest be feared.
⁵I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait,
      and in his word do I hope.
⁶My soul waiteth for the Lord
      more than they that watch for the morning:
      I say, more than they that watch for the morning.

⁷Let Israel hope in the Lord:
      for with the Lord there is mercy,
      and with him is plenteous redemption.
⁸And he shall redeem Israel
      from all his iniquities.

Another great psalm for us addicts.  For, who among us has not cried out from our deepest, darkest times in our lives for His salvation.  Cried out in hopes that He would hear our cry for help.  Cried out knowing full well that the Lord tracks all of our sins, (verse 3) and all of our iniquities.  Who could stand before Him with our history?  With the victims we have left in the wake of our addictions, who of us could stand before him?  Thankfully, though, (verse 4) He is a god of grace and forgiveness.  Thankfully, he sent his only son who died for the forgiveness of these sins.  And so His word gives us hope.  In those darkest hours, when we are not just willing for change but desperate for change.  He is our only hope.  With him there is plenteous redemption.

Oh Lord, as we walk through our journey's whether it is for Lent, or for recovery, or something else, continue to provide us hope.  And as St Francis of Assis prayed - in situations of despair, let us provide hope.  Where there is darkness, let us sow light.  Where there is sadness, let us sow joy.  For you have taught me, as it is with many situations in life, we must be willing to provide if we should expect to receive.  I have learned that it is impossible to get a hug without giving a hug.  Teach us and guide us on how to provide that hope to others.  Help us seek to comfort rather than to be comforted.  Help us to love than to be loved.  For, we have learned that, it is in giving that we receive and it is by forgiving that we are forgiven.  I thank You for these lessons and I thank You for Your hope.  For these things we are grateful - in Your name.  Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 129: The Lord has has cut the cords of the wicked

From Psalms

Psalm 129
(A song of ascents.)

¹Many a time have they afflicted me from my youth,
      may Israel now say:
²Many a time have they afflicted me from my youth:
      yet they have not prevailed against me.
³The plowers plowed upon my back:
      they made long their furrows.
⁴The LORD is righteous:
      he hath cut asunder the cords of the wicked.

⁵Let them all be confounded
      and turned back that hate Zion.
⁶Let them be as the grass upon the housetops,
      which withereth afore it groweth up:
⁷Wherewith the mower filleth not his hand;
      nor he that bindeth sheaves his bosom.
⁸Neither do they which go by say,
      The blessing of the Lord be upon you:
      we bless you in the name of the Lord.

Verse 4 of Psalm 129 says, "The Lord is righteous, he cut the cord of the wicked."  He has broken the chains of my addiction.  My life an my outlook are completely different and I am changed man.  It has been a long journey of prayers, 12 step meetings, and working the 12 steps.  A journey which is not yet complete - it is one that will likely continue far beyond the time I have all 150 psalms on this site.

I am reading a book, whose whole premise is that we are not the people we think we are.  That we perceive ourselves completely differently than how others perceive us.  This perception we have of ourselves prevents us from changing and becoming the great people we have the potential to be.  In fact, the author goes on to say, we won't change unless the things we value are at risk of being lost.  And so it is for addicts, and so it was for me.  I didn't start the recovery process until my career was at stake, and my marriage was on its last legs.

It's only in the most dire of circumstances that we finally reach out for help.  And only when we reach steps 4 and 5 do we get realistic perspective on who we are and how big our problems are.  Nevertheless, God is there when we are ready.  Ready to set us on a new path with honesty and openess.  Ready to make sacrifices and turn our lives over to God.  When we're ready, God will be there to cut the cords of our addictions and the problems that tie us up in our addiction.  God can only work with us if were willing...and as I'm learning we can only be willing if the things we value are at risk of being lost.

Oh Lord, I am forever grateful for the cords you have cut in my life.  I am grateful for the journey you have set me on, and the changes you have brought into my life.  Thank you for the people who given Your messages that I needed to hear.  The people who opened me up to the truth and changed my perception.  Continue guide me on my journey of recovery.  As I journey this path of recovery let me also help and support other addicts that need guidance and support.  Let me be Your messenger and the Your light to these recovering addicts as others were to me.  In Your son's name - Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.