Psalm 123: O Lord, have mercy on us

From Psalms

Psalm 123 

¹Unto thee lift I up mine eyes,
      O thou that dwellest in the heavens.
² Behold, as the eyes of servants look unto the hand of their masters,
      and as the eyes of a maiden unto the hand of her mistress;
so our eyes wait upon the Lord our God,
      until that he have mercy upon us.

³ Have mercy upon us, O Lord, have mercy upon us:
      for we are exceedingly filled with contempt.
⁴ Our soul is exceedingly filled with the scorning of those that are at ease,
      and with the contempt of the proud.

O Lord, we are all sinners.  There are those among us who take your word and twist it for it for personal and political gain.  There are programs on television that purport to maintain christian values only to win over christian viewers to their own corporate goals.  We use your word to justify our own decisions and lifestyles - and to vilify those who choose otherwise.  There are those who purport to be prophets of parables but forget, probably the most eloquent parable that you gave us, the parable of the good Samaritan.

O Lord, like most things in life it is difficult to understand your will for us, both personally and as a community and society.  So, we give thanks that you so understood our nature, that you gave your only son as forgiveness of our sins.  Continue to have mercy on us.  Although we wait on you, the choices we make have complex consequences.  Guide us, teach us, and be with us in our quest to fulfill your will on earth.  At this time of year, and throughout the year, continue to help us to be like the good Samaritan.  To be a light for all of those around us.  To be a model of good will towards all of your children, regardless of their belief.  That we may use your word, instead of justifying our own selfish choices, rather to show your love, your peace, and your power.  In your name we pray.  Amen
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Psalm 122: They shall prosper that love thee

From Psalms

Psalm 122
¹I was glad when they said unto me,
      Let us go into the house of the Lord.
²Our feet shall stand
      within thy gates, O Jerusalem.

³Jerusalem is builded as a city
      that is compact together:
⁴Whither the tribes go up,
      the tribes of the Lord,
unto the testimony of Israel,
      to give thanks unto the name of the Lord.
⁵For there are set thrones of judgment,
      the thrones of the house of David.

⁶Pray for the peace of Jerusalem:
      they shall prosper that love thee.
⁷Peace be within thy walls,
      and prosperity within thy palaces.
⁸For my brethren and companions' sakes,
      I will now say, Peace be within thee.
⁹Because of the house of the Lord
      our God I will seek thy good.

The psalmist in Psalm 122 talks a lot about prosperity.  I think it's important to talk about what prosperity means in terms of the gifts of the Lord.  I say this for a couple of reasons.  First, because at this time of year with Christmas, by and large has lost a lot of the meaning of sharing the gifts of God. More correctly, "Fruits of the Holy Spirit," of  - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  Second, because, as addicts we get lost in a pursuit of false prosperity.

So, the prosperity I think the psalmist writes about here are those treasures that "we shall store in Heaven."  The Fruits, as well as Gifts, of the Holy Spirit.  So it should be no surprise that the psalmist writes about peace and prosperity together as similar, or possibly the same, things.  As I write this, I am thinking...this isn't exactly prophetic.  I'm not the first to say this kind of thing.  However, as I write this I wonder, in my day-to-day life, is this how I act?  Is this the kind of prosperity that I chase?  Certainly in my recovery these are the things I know I need and aspire to. However, my actions in a regular day don't always reflect this.  The best way I can think of to reflect this is to close with part of, and a modified version of, the prayer of St. Francis (aka San Francisco) De Assisi...also the 11th step prayer.  And as I pray this - I pray this is something we can all share.

Lord make me an instruments of your peace; where there is hate, let me bring love; where there is doubt, let me bring faith; where there is despair, let me bring hope; where there is darkness, let me bring light; and where there is sadness, let me bring joy.  Let me seek to console rather than to be consoled; seek to understand rather than to be understood; let me seek to love, rather than to be loved.  For I know you have taught me, in you psalms, that it is only in giving that I will receive and truly prosper.  Amen

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Psalm 121: The Lord is thy keeper

From Psalms

Psalm 121

¹I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills,
      from whence cometh my help.
²My help cometh from the Lord,
      which made heaven and earth.

³He will not suffer thy foot to be moved:
      he that keepeth thee will not slumber.
⁴Behold, he that keepeth Israel
      shall neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵The Lord is thy keeper:
      the Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand.
⁶The sun shall not smite thee by day,
      nor the moon by night.

⁷The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil:
      he shall preserve thy soul.
⁸The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming
      in from this time forth, and even for evermore.

Alas, God never sleeps for he is on the look-out for us and will preserve us in all situations.  Whether we are coming or going - He is there.  Whether it's night or day - He is there.  Whether rain or shine - He is there.  He is thy keeper.  Sometimes this is easy to forget.  So it's nice to have the reminder on a day where recovery means physical as well as spiritually.

There's nothing like a sick day in bed to help us remember that God is always there to help us.  It's comforting to to be able to trust in God.  It's reassuring to know he's watching.

Oh Lord, thank you for seeing through my recovery as I struggle with physical pain as well as spiritual pain.  Thank you for watching out over me in all situations and delivering me from evil.  And bringing me salvation.  Thank you also for watching over my loved ones when I cannot be there with them.  I look up to the horizon and know you are there.  I look into the clouds and know you are keeping watch.  In situations where I continue to struggle please continue to guide me and remind me of your presence.  In your name I pray.  Amen.

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Psalm 120: Deliver my soul...from a deceitful tongue

From Psalms

Psalm 120

¹In my distress I cried unto the Lord,
      and he heard me.
²Deliver my soul, O Lord,
      from lying lips,
      and from a deceitful tongue.
³What shall be given unto thee?
      or what shall be done unto thee,
      thou false tongue?
⁴Sharp arrows of the mighty,
      with coals of juniper.

⁵Woe is me, that I sojourn in Mesech,
      that I dwell in the tents of Kedar!
⁶My soul hath long dwelt
      with him that hateth peace.
⁷I am for peace:
      but when I speak, they are for war.

Sometimes in my recovery I make some pretty good discoveries.  Discoveries like I need to pray to be saved from myself.  Saved from my own lies and my own lying.  Saved from my own procrastination.  Saved from many things I create by myself.  Making decisions that generally that don't sit well with God.

I understand the psalmist today is talking about the lies of others, the deceit of others - not his own lies.  However, a big part of the hole, the hell, if you will, that addicts create for ourselves are in the web of lies we weave.  So, it makes sense today, that I put a spin on psalm 120, and I pray that God save me, and for that matter, all addicts, from our own lies.

Oh Lord, it has been more than two years since I cried out to you.  You have clearly heard me in my distress before - and saved my soul.  Nevertheless, I still struggle in my addictions and in the lies that surround my life.  Lies about my sobriety. Lies about where I spend my time.  Lies about things I procrastinate on.  Lies when I tell partial truths.  Lies that are secrets I keep.  All of these are things that inevitably lead me lead me to a place I don't want to be.  A place that's usually alone, hiding from the truth, hiding from the people I've lied to.  And anytime I'm alone hiding is a good place for my addiction to find me.  Oh Lord, save me from my lies.  Give me the strength to be honest. The courage to face adversities that would otherwise tempt me to lie.  Help me trust in you and trust in your word.  Continue to guide me in my sobriety.  Thank you.  Amen.

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Psalm 119 XI: Let my soul live, and it shall praise thee

From Psalms

Psalm 119: 161-176
Sin & Shin

¹⁶¹Princes have persecuted me without a cause:
      but my heart standeth in awe of thy word.
¹⁶²I rejoice at thy word,
      as one that findeth great spoil. 
¹⁶³I hate and abhor lying:
      but thy law do I love.
¹⁶⁴Seven times a day do I praise thee
      because of thy righteous judgments.
¹⁶⁵Great peace have they which love thy law:
      and nothing shall offend them.
¹⁶⁶Lord, I have hoped for thy salvation,
      and done thy commandments.
¹⁶⁷My soul hath kept thy testimonies;
      and I love them exceedingly.
¹⁶⁸I have kept thy precepts and thy testimonies:
      for all my ways are before thee.

Taw
¹⁶⁹Let my cry come near before thee, O Lord:
      give me understanding according to thy word.
¹⁷⁰Let my supplication come before thee:
      deliver me according to thy word.
¹⁷¹My lips shall utter praise,
      when thou hast taught me thy statutes.
¹⁷²My tongue shall speak of thy word:
      for all thy commandments are righteousness.
¹⁷³Let thine hand help me;
      for I have chosen thy precepts.
¹⁷⁴I have longed for thy salvation, O Lord;
      and thy law is my delight.
¹⁷⁵Let my soul live, and it shall praise thee;
      and let thy judgments help me.
¹⁷⁶I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek thy servant;
      for I do not forget thy commandments.

Tonight I woke with a mild case of insomnia.  I have been relapsing in my sex addiction.  It's no wonder, since I haven't been sharing or working on my steps in several weeks.  As I realize this and read through the last two sections of psalm 119, I realize that this taking peace away from part of my life.  I am lying again and need the Lord's hand to help me out of it.  I have gone astray like a lost sheep....again.

I have been able to trust the Lord with so many aspects of my life, but with this one I have forgotten to trust in the Lord.  And so tonight, with these lines I am reminded that this is all I need, again to have my soul live and to find that peace, again.  At first, I think how remarkable it is that I can almost randomly look at a part of psalms and be given the reminder and peace I need to face my fears and addiction, again.  Then I remember that this must all be part of God's plan - and His plan is not random.

Oh Lord, I have forgotten how critical my prayers to you are in my recovery.  And indeed, I have gone astray like a lost sheep.  Let your judgments help me, and my soul live and this I pray will praise the and show other of your power and the hope you can bring to a struggling addict to stay sober through another day.  I delight in the prayers of psalms - let them continuously guide me in salvation of sobriety.  Please continue to bring me understanding, to help me face my struggles, and be with me and lead me so as not to succumb to temptation and deliver me from the evils around me. Amen.

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