Psalm 119 XI: Let my soul live, and it shall praise thee

From Psalms

Psalm 119: 161-176
Sin & Shin

¹⁶¹Princes have persecuted me without a cause:
      but my heart standeth in awe of thy word.
¹⁶²I rejoice at thy word,
      as one that findeth great spoil. 
¹⁶³I hate and abhor lying:
      but thy law do I love.
¹⁶⁴Seven times a day do I praise thee
      because of thy righteous judgments.
¹⁶⁵Great peace have they which love thy law:
      and nothing shall offend them.
¹⁶⁶Lord, I have hoped for thy salvation,
      and done thy commandments.
¹⁶⁷My soul hath kept thy testimonies;
      and I love them exceedingly.
¹⁶⁸I have kept thy precepts and thy testimonies:
      for all my ways are before thee.

Taw
¹⁶⁹Let my cry come near before thee, O Lord:
      give me understanding according to thy word.
¹⁷⁰Let my supplication come before thee:
      deliver me according to thy word.
¹⁷¹My lips shall utter praise,
      when thou hast taught me thy statutes.
¹⁷²My tongue shall speak of thy word:
      for all thy commandments are righteousness.
¹⁷³Let thine hand help me;
      for I have chosen thy precepts.
¹⁷⁴I have longed for thy salvation, O Lord;
      and thy law is my delight.
¹⁷⁵Let my soul live, and it shall praise thee;
      and let thy judgments help me.
¹⁷⁶I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek thy servant;
      for I do not forget thy commandments.

Tonight I woke with a mild case of insomnia.  I have been relapsing in my sex addiction.  It's no wonder, since I haven't been sharing or working on my steps in several weeks.  As I realize this and read through the last two sections of psalm 119, I realize that this taking peace away from part of my life.  I am lying again and need the Lord's hand to help me out of it.  I have gone astray like a lost sheep....again.

I have been able to trust the Lord with so many aspects of my life, but with this one I have forgotten to trust in the Lord.  And so tonight, with these lines I am reminded that this is all I need, again to have my soul live and to find that peace, again.  At first, I think how remarkable it is that I can almost randomly look at a part of psalms and be given the reminder and peace I need to face my fears and addiction, again.  Then I remember that this must all be part of God's plan - and His plan is not random.

Oh Lord, I have forgotten how critical my prayers to you are in my recovery.  And indeed, I have gone astray like a lost sheep.  Let your judgments help me, and my soul live and this I pray will praise the and show other of your power and the hope you can bring to a struggling addict to stay sober through another day.  I delight in the prayers of psalms - let them continuously guide me in salvation of sobriety.  Please continue to bring me understanding, to help me face my struggles, and be with me and lead me so as not to succumb to temptation and deliver me from the evils around me. Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.