Psalm 17 (NIV) - I call on you, my God, for you will answer me

From Psalms

Psalm 17 (New International Version, Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica)
(A prayer of David.)

¹ Hear me, LORD, my plea is just;
     listen to my cry.
Hear my prayer—
     it does not rise from deceitful lips.
²Let my vindication come from you;
     may your eyes see what is right.

³Though you probe my heart,
     though you examine me at night and test me,
you will find that I have planned no evil;
     my mouth has not transgressed.
⁴Though people tried to bribe me,
     I have kept myself from the ways of the violent
     through what your lips have commanded.
⁵My steps have held to your paths;
     my feet have not stumbled.

⁶I call on you, my God, for you will answer me;
     turn your ear to me and hear my prayer.
⁷Show me the wonders of your great love,
     you who save by your right hand
     those who take refuge in you from their foes.
⁸Keep me as the apple of your eye;
     hide me in the shadow of your wings
⁹from the wicked who are out to destroy me,
     from my mortal enemies who surround me.

¹⁰They close up their callous hearts,
     and their mouths speak with arrogance.
¹¹They have tracked me down, they now surround me,
     with eyes alert, to throw me to the ground.
¹²They are like a lion hungry for prey,
     like a fierce lion crouching in cover.

¹³Rise up, LORD, confront them, bring them down;
     with your sword rescue me from the wicked.
¹⁴By your hand save me from such people, LORD,
     from those of this world whose reward is in this life.
May what you have stored up for the wicked fill their bellies;
     may their children gorge themselves on it,
     and may there be leftovers for their little ones.

¹⁵As for me, I will be vindicated and will see your face;
     when I awake, I will be satisfied with seeing your likeness.

I have to admit I have a bit of problem with Psalm 17, especially verses 3-5.  For who has not stumbled in His path?  Who has not lied?  Who's mouth has not transgressed?  Who among us is without sin?  That is what I find so amazing about our Christian God.

Despite being deceitful.  Despite being liars.  Despite being addicts.  Despite all that, God still shows everything in verses 6-15.  God still answers our prayers.  God still shows us "the wonders of his great love."  He keeps each of us as the apple of His eye.  He hides us in the shadow of His wings.  He rescues us from the wicked.  He does all of this because we are forgiven because, here on Good Friday, we remember Jesus died on the cross for us.

Let me put this into context.  In the past few days I have had to deal with addictive urges.  6 months into my sobriety, I find my thoughts on sex can still be consuming.  There has been a lot of stress at work; I have been working a lot; not getting much sleep.  I still have a part of my brain that feels the need to mask that stress with porn, and of course the endorphins.  So, I have to pray.  I have to focus on Psalms.  I have to focus on the 12 steps.  Focus until the urge and temptation within me subsides, because as strong as the urge is, I have faith that it will subside.  It does subside, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, but it does subside.  With God's grace, he answers my prayers and the urges subside, and once again I can move forward in His path.  I breathe a sigh of relief and move forward - and I feel like I am forgiven.

Thanks for letting me share.