Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over addiction...pt I

Anyone who has stepped into a meeting knows the power of their addiction and the struggle to fight it. It seems that its only in the most dire circumstances that we admit there's nothing we can do:
- losing a job
- losing a marriage
- getting charged with a crime

There's a little more to step one though. Step one is about putting our addiction on the table, and putting it into the light. It's the first step towards honesty - and the first step towards healing and recovery.

Over the next three days I will list a some exercises and questions that will help with that honesty.  Now these exercises are focused on Sex Addiction because my addiction to the natural endorphines released at orgasm are the substance that I had the most trouble with. Nearly all the books on my books page will also have similar exercises - which will help in being honest with how bad things had gotten.

So, let's start with powerlessness.  This is the urge to act out which takes the seemingly illogical precedence over family, work, safety and health concerns.  The inability to control the type, time, place or circumstances of our sexual behavior.  Promises, to ourselves and to others are broken - all best intentions are thwarted.  To gain a better understanding of how powerless you have become to your sexual behavior here are some behaviors I would like you to cite examples (at least 2 per topic) of: (Find a piece of paper where you can write this down)

Pre-occupation: Thinking about, looking forward to, planning, fantasizing about, setting up, or hiding sexual behavior:  (also determine how much time you spend every week just with preoccupation)

Attempts to Control: Switching Sexual Partners or Behaviors, internet filters, previous treatments, journal, self-imposed celibacy or abstinence, geographic moves.

Destructive Behavior:  Physical injury or risk of physical injury to self or others, diseases or infections, abusive behaviors to others, destroyed relationships, money spent on sex when it was needed for rent or food.

Progression of disease: Masturbation to porn to strip clubs to webcams; or cruising to paid sex to public anonymous sex.

This is the first exercise of step 1.  We will start to drill into each of these areas and explore more as we expose how bad our disease had really gotten over the next few days.  This honesty, in no way, will be easy.  However, it is necessary for recovery.

Thanks for letting me share.