Psalm 63 (KJV): O God....my soul thirsteth for thee

From Psalms

Psalm 63
(Of David when he was in the Desert of Judah.)

¹O God, thou art my God;
      early will I seek thee:
my soul thirsteth for thee,
     my flesh longeth for thee
in a dry and thirsty land,
      where no water is;

²To see thy power and thy glory,
      so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary.
³Because thy lovingkindness is better than life,
      my lips shall praise thee.
⁴Thus will I bless thee while I live:
      I will lift up my hands in thy name.

⁵My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness;
      and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips:

⁶When I remember thee upon my bed,
      and meditate on thee in the night watches.
⁷Because thou hast been my help,
      therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice.
⁸My soul followeth hard after thee:
      thy right hand upholdeth me.

⁹But those that seek my soul, to destroy it,
      shall go into the lower parts of the earth.
¹⁰They shall fall by the sword:
      they shall be a portion for foxes.

¹¹But the king shall rejoice in God;
      every one that sweareth by him shall glory:
      but the mouth of them that speak lies shall be stopped.

A lot has happened in the last week.  In some respects God has answered prayers.  In other respects I see the ravages of addiction in other people's lives - and I pray for those people and the people they've hurt along the way.  In all respects it reminds me of my early days in recovery.  The state my life was in, how unmanageable it was, and how distant I was from God.

Tonight at a meeting we (re)visited step two, "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."  Psalm 63 echoes a lot of the discussion from tonight.  As alcoholics at the end of our rope we are ready to go to any lengths necessary.  We long for God...in a dry and thirsty land.

Well, as the reading would remind us, at first isn't wasn't specifically God we thirsted for, necessarily.  We were thirsty for a new life.  One where we were not at the mercy of our addiction.  Hungry for the results of AA and its recovery in our life.  However, it was only through the journey of step 2 that we understood that "believing in a higher power" and faith in God are one in the same.  Faith that God can, and does, exist and is willing to heal our addiction.

By the end of step 2 we thirst for God.  To see His power and His glory.  To experience his lovingkindness.  To have our souls follow hard after thee.  To be ready have His right hand hold us up.  This thirst, to me, is a key step in recovery - whether you're new to recovery or been here a while.

Thanks for letting me share.