Psalm 69 (KJV): 18-36: I am poor and sorrowful...O God, set me up on high

From Psalms

Psalm 69:18-36

¹⁸Draw nigh unto my soul, and redeem it:
      deliver me because of mine enemies.

¹⁹Thou hast known my reproach, and my shame, and my dishonour:
      mine adversaries are all before thee.
²⁰Reproach hath broken my heart;
      and I am full of heaviness:
and I looked for some to take pity, but there was none;
      and for comforters, but I found none.
²¹They gave me also gall for my meat;
      and in my thirst they gave me vinegar to drink.

²²Let their table become a snare before them:
      and that which should have been for their welfare, let it become a trap.
²³Let their eyes be darkened, that they see not;
      and make their loins continually to shake.
²⁴Pour out thine indignation upon them,
      and let thy wrathful anger take hold of them.
²⁵Let their habitation be desolate;
      and let none dwell in their tents.
²⁶For they persecute him whom thou hast smitten;
      and they talk to the grief of those whom thou hast wounded.
²⁷Add iniquity unto their iniquity:
      and let them not come into thy righteousness.
²⁸Let them be blotted out of the book of the living,
      and not be written with the righteous.

²⁹But I am poor and sorrowful:
      let thy salvation, O God, set me up on high.

³⁰I will praise the name of God with a song,
      and will magnify him with thanksgiving.
³¹This also shall please the LORD better than an ox
      or bullock that hath horns and hoofs.
³²The humble shall see this, and be glad:
      and your heart shall live that seek God.
³³For the LORD heareth the poor,
      and despiseth not his prisoners.

³⁴Let the heaven and earth praise him,
      the seas, and every thing that moveth therein.
³⁵For God will save Zion,
      and will build the cities of Judah:
that they may dwell there, and have it in possession.
³⁶The seed also of his servants shall inherit it:
and they that love his name shall dwell therein.

There are days when I feel like the psalmist in verses 18-22.  I look for comfort and friends - and there are no true friends.  Only those that provide more poison of my addictions.  It breaks my heart and I realize then, as the psalmist also does starting in verse 30, that the one thing that I faithfully rely on is the strength of God.

For God has saved people for ages and he can surely save a lowly addict like me.  No matter how bitterly I may be treated I know that with the protection and salvation of God that no person can harm me.  For that matter, no substance or emotion can control me either.

This is put into perspective every time I meet or talk to another addict.  We share our stories and experiences and realize we are not alone in our struggles, in our doubts, and our stories.  God works in our lives through the people in our lives.  Only another alcoholic understands the pressure of the question, "Why aren't you drinking?"  Only in discussing that can we learn that it doesn't need to be so stressful...and so we become stronger...together.  And so I close, looking forward to another good and sober day.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 69 (KJV): 1-17: Save me, O God

From Psalms

Psalm 69
(For the director of music.  To the tune of "Lilies."  Of David.)

¹Save me, O God;
      for the waters are come in unto my soul.
²I sink in deep mire,
      where there is no standing:
I am come into deep waters,
      where the floods overflow me.
³I am weary of my crying:
      my throat is dried:
mine eyes fail
      while I wait for my God.
⁴They that hate me without a cause
      are more than the hairs of mine head:
they that would destroy me,
      being mine enemies wrongfully, are mighty:
then I restored that
      which I took not away.

⁵O God, thou knowest my foolishness;
      and my sins are not hid from thee.

⁶Let not them that wait on thee,
      O Lord GOD of hosts,
      be ashamed for my sake:
let not those that seek thee
      be confounded for my sake,
      O God of Israel.
⁷Because for thy sake I have borne reproach;
      shame hath covered my face.
⁸I am become a stranger unto my brethren,
      and an alien unto my mother's children.
⁹For the zeal of thine house hath eaten me up;
      and the reproaches of them that reproached thee are fallen upon me.
¹⁰When I wept, and chastened my soul with fasting,
      that was to my reproach.
¹¹I made sackcloth also my garment;
      and I became a proverb to them.
¹²They that sit in the gate speak against me;
      and I was the song of the drunkards.

¹³But as for me, my prayer is unto thee, O LORD,
      in an acceptable time:
O God, in the multitude of thy mercy hear me,
      in the truth of thy salvation.
¹⁴Deliver me out of the mire,
      and let me not sink:
let me be delivered from them that hate me,
      and out of the deep waters.
¹⁵Let not the waterflood overflow me,
      neither let the deep swallow me up,
      and let not the pit shut her mouth upon me.
¹⁶Hear me, O LORD; for thy lovingkindness is good:
      turn unto me according to the multitude of thy tender mercies.
¹⁷And hide not thy face from thy servant;
      for I am in trouble: hear me speedily.

God, Save me from my addiction.  I find that as long as I focus on you, and your will, I can stay afloat, above the rising waters.  However, the moment I am distracted, whether its something related to my addiction or not, I find myself wandering more closely to my addiction - with the urges and traps that ensnare me.  At these times I struggle to stay afloat.  At these times help me be focused on you and those things in my life that are important.

God, as the psalmist writes in verse 5, you know my sins and faults.  Let me be open and honest about these that you may take away my difficulties.  "That my victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life." (Third Step Prayer)

As the psalmist goes on in verse 6, I also know that other people suffer because of my sins and faults.  I pray that you do not allow others suffer, or become the "whipping boy," for my mistakes and my sins.  Let me instead support and elevate those around me, than bring them.  "That I may be an instrument of your peace...Where there is hatred that I would sow peace.  Where there is doubt that I would bring faith and where there is despair I can bring hope...For I know that it is in giving that we receive." (From the Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi, the 11th Step Prayer.)

Amen

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 68 (KJV): 31-35: Praise be to God

From Psalms

Psalm 68:31-35

³¹Princes shall come out of Egypt;
      Ethiopia shall soon stretch out her hands unto God.

³²Sing unto God, ye kingdoms of the earth;
      O sing praises unto the Lord;                       Selah:
³³To him that rideth upon the heavens of heavens, which were of old;
      lo, he doth send out his voice, and that a mighty voice.
³⁴Ascribe ye strength unto God:
      his excellency is over Israel,
      and his strength is in the clouds.

³⁵O God, thou art terrible out of thy holy places:
      the God of Israel is he that giveth strength and power unto his people.
Blessed be God.

I love how Psalm 68 finishes off praising God.  I have been handing my life over to the will of God for more than the last year and it is all in his name that I have been given a life back from my addictions.  When I wake-up and know I do not have to give in to my temptations I want to sing out loud in Joy.  When I go to bed sober and am aware of everything I said and did I can sleep in peace.  No more do I have to worry about black-outs or not having control of my life.

God has given me the gift of sobriety - with that gift comes the responsibility of healing...Praise be to God.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 68 (KJV): 17-30: The Lord daily loadeth us with benefits

From Psalms

Psalm 68:17-30

¹⁷The chariots of God are twenty thousand,
      even thousands of angels:
      the Lord is among them, as in Sinai, in the holy place.

¹⁸Thou hast ascended on high,
      thou hast led captivity captive:
      thou hast received gifts for men;
yea, for the rebellious also,
      that the LORD God might dwell among them.

¹⁹Blessed be the Lord,
      who daily loadeth us with benefits,
      even the God of our salvation.                          Selah.
²⁰He that is our God is the God of salvation;
      and unto GOD the Lord belong the issues from death.

²¹But God shall wound the head of his enemies,
      and the hairy scalp of such an one as goeth on still in his trespasses.
²²The Lord said, I will bring again from Bashan,
      I will bring my people again from the depths of the sea:
²³That thy foot may be dipped in the blood of thine enemies,
      and the tongue of thy dogs in the same.

²⁴They have seen thy goings, O God;
      even the goings of my God, my King, in the sanctuary.
²⁵The singers went before, the players on instruments followed after;
      among them were the damsels playing with timbrels.
²⁶Bless ye God in the congregations,
      even the Lord, from the fountain of Israel.
²⁷There is little Benjamin with their ruler,
      the princes of Judah and their council,
      the princes of Zebulun,
      and the princes of Naphtali.

²⁸Thy God hath commanded thy strength:
      strengthen, O God, that which thou hast wrought for us.
²⁹Because of thy temple at Jerusalem
      shall kings bring presents unto thee.
³⁰Rebuke the company of spearmen,
      the multitude of the bulls, with the calves of the people,
till every one submit himself with pieces of silver:
      scatter thou the people that delight in war.

I think it's important that I talk about faith because many the things Psalm 68 talks about are things that we can't see in our lives - but are there.  Faith is the belief in the things we can't see.  Faith is very important in our sobriety and I guess that's why the second and third steps of the 12 steps were developed to instill faith in us.

Making that step to believe in God, in order to cure us of our addiction, something that you can't see, is like stepping off a cliff.  We know we can trust in our drug of choice, whether that's alcohol, sex, cigarettes, cocaine, food, or anything else.  We can see it, we can touch it, we can smell it.  It's there - and temporarily we null the pain and problems.  But God...."What do I know that God is there?" asks the addict.

Quite often there are people around us who have different perspectives and can see things we can't.  They know God is there, that the cliff isn't really a cliff at all.  That the first step is really a path to a new life which has just been hidden from us as addicts - and remains hidden from other addicts.  So, we need to trust, we need to have faith.  When we do that we are able to see, as Psalm 68 tells us that the Lord loadeth us with benefits, saves us from our demons, and gives us strength.  So, if you struggle with addiction of any kind I encourage to make the step to trust in God.  If you would like to see this analogy in action check out this scene from Indiana Jones.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 68 (KJV):1-16: let them exceedingly rejoice

From Psalms

Psalm 68
(For the director of music.  Of David.  A psalm.  A song.)

¹Let God arise, let his enemies be scattered:
      let them also that hate him flee before him.
²As smoke is driven away,
      so drive them away: as wax melteth before the fire,
      so let the wicked perish at the presence of God.
³But let the righteous be glad;
      let them rejoice before God:
      yea, let them exceedingly rejoice.

⁴Sing unto God, sing praises to his name:
      extol him that rideth upon the heavens by his name JAH,
      and rejoice before him.
⁵A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows,
      is God in his holy habitation.
⁶God setteth the solitary in families:
      he bringeth out those which are bound with chains:
      but the rebellious dwell in a dry land.

⁷O God, when thou wentest forth before thy people,
      when thou didst march through the wilderness;             Selah:
⁸The earth shook, the heavens also dropped at the presence of God:
      even Sinai itself was moved at the presence of God,
      the God of Israel.
⁹Thou, O God, didst send a plentiful rain,
      whereby thou didst confirm thine inheritance, when it was weary.
¹⁰Thy congregation hath dwelt therein:
      thou, O God, hast prepared of thy goodness for the poor.

¹¹The Lord gave the word:
      great was the company of those that published it.
¹²Kings of armies did flee apace:
      and she that tarried at home divided the spoil.
¹³Though ye have lien among the pots,
      yet shall ye be as the wings of a dove covered with silver,
      and her feathers with yellow gold.
¹⁴When the Almighty scattered kings in it,
      it was white as snow in Salmon.

¹⁵The hill of God is as the hill of Bashan;
      an high hill as the hill of Bashan.
¹⁶Why leap ye, ye high hills?
      this is the hill which God desireth to dwell in;
      yea, the LORD will dwell in it for ever.

I can't believe it's been so long since my last entry.  Let's just say the holiday season bring a different kind of busy-ness and distractions with them.  As with every experience in life it brings an opportunity to grow, and grow closer to God.  This year's holiday season brought the opportunity to look at the holidays from a new perspective, through the movie, "What would Jesus buy?" which tries to show that the love of Christmas does not have to be demonstrated by giving expensive presents.

But I digress.  The holidays came and went with new and unique temptations, which through God's help I managed.  Most of all the Holidays gave me an opportunity to exceedingly rejoice in God's love, and praise his name.  A father to the fatherless, preparing goodness for the poor, did send plentiful rain.  Indeed, His love is great.  These first 16 verses ring true of what Christmas is meant to be - what God wants for us.  Peace on earth, good will to men.  A chance to praise and thank God for His gifts.  For addicts and alcoholics it gives an opportunity to thank God for the gift of sobriety - and to look forward to a new year and new experiences as we journey down the 12 steps together.

Thanks for letting me share.