Psalm 69 (KJV): 18-36: I am poor and sorrowful...O God, set me up on high

From Psalms

Psalm 69:18-36

¹⁸Draw nigh unto my soul, and redeem it:
      deliver me because of mine enemies.

¹⁹Thou hast known my reproach, and my shame, and my dishonour:
      mine adversaries are all before thee.
²⁰Reproach hath broken my heart;
      and I am full of heaviness:
and I looked for some to take pity, but there was none;
      and for comforters, but I found none.
²¹They gave me also gall for my meat;
      and in my thirst they gave me vinegar to drink.

²²Let their table become a snare before them:
      and that which should have been for their welfare, let it become a trap.
²³Let their eyes be darkened, that they see not;
      and make their loins continually to shake.
²⁴Pour out thine indignation upon them,
      and let thy wrathful anger take hold of them.
²⁵Let their habitation be desolate;
      and let none dwell in their tents.
²⁶For they persecute him whom thou hast smitten;
      and they talk to the grief of those whom thou hast wounded.
²⁷Add iniquity unto their iniquity:
      and let them not come into thy righteousness.
²⁸Let them be blotted out of the book of the living,
      and not be written with the righteous.

²⁹But I am poor and sorrowful:
      let thy salvation, O God, set me up on high.

³⁰I will praise the name of God with a song,
      and will magnify him with thanksgiving.
³¹This also shall please the LORD better than an ox
      or bullock that hath horns and hoofs.
³²The humble shall see this, and be glad:
      and your heart shall live that seek God.
³³For the LORD heareth the poor,
      and despiseth not his prisoners.

³⁴Let the heaven and earth praise him,
      the seas, and every thing that moveth therein.
³⁵For God will save Zion,
      and will build the cities of Judah:
that they may dwell there, and have it in possession.
³⁶The seed also of his servants shall inherit it:
and they that love his name shall dwell therein.

There are days when I feel like the psalmist in verses 18-22.  I look for comfort and friends - and there are no true friends.  Only those that provide more poison of my addictions.  It breaks my heart and I realize then, as the psalmist also does starting in verse 30, that the one thing that I faithfully rely on is the strength of God.

For God has saved people for ages and he can surely save a lowly addict like me.  No matter how bitterly I may be treated I know that with the protection and salvation of God that no person can harm me.  For that matter, no substance or emotion can control me either.

This is put into perspective every time I meet or talk to another addict.  We share our stories and experiences and realize we are not alone in our struggles, in our doubts, and our stories.  God works in our lives through the people in our lives.  Only another alcoholic understands the pressure of the question, "Why aren't you drinking?"  Only in discussing that can we learn that it doesn't need to be so stressful...and so we become stronger...together.  And so I close, looking forward to another good and sober day.

Thanks for letting me share.