Psalm 139:16-24 (KJV): Search me God and know my heart

Psalm 139:16-24
¹⁶Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect;
      and in thy book all my members were written,
which in continuance were fashioned,
      when as yet there was none of them.
¹⁷How precious also are thy thoughts unto me,
      O God! how great is the sum of them!
¹⁸If I should count them,
      they are more in number than the sand:
      when I awake, I am still with thee.

¹⁹Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God:
      depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.
²⁰For they speak against thee wickedly,
      and thine enemies take thy name in vain.
²¹Do not I hate them, O Lord, that hate thee?
      and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee?
²²I hate them with perfect hatred:
      I count them mine enemies.
²³Search me, O God, and know my heart:
      try me, and know my thoughts:
²⁴And see if there be any wicked way in me,
      and lead me in the way everlasting.

This last part of psalm 139, for me, strikes at the personal nature of God.  He knows us all even before we are formed (verse 16) - and has a plan for us despite our imperfections.  That despite what face or personality we share with the rest of the world God knows the truth in our hearts.  He is aware of our vanity, greed, hatred - our weaknesses - any wickedness (verse 24).  He is also aware to the extent we are good - how deep our faith is.  How much we are truly committed to live the life he intends for us.  How much we are willing to sacrifice.

Dear Lord, you know my heart and have always known my heart.  You know I struggle with my addictions.  You know of my potential for you have blessed me with great gifts.  You have seen me leverage your gifts and blessing to use them to demonstrate your power.  You have also seen me waste those gifts and possibly even abuse them for selfish gains.  Be with me, as you are with all addicts, forgive me of those sins and lead me in Your way.  Guide me in your plan for me that I may be an example of Your light.  Help me root out the evil and sin in my heart and replace it with love.  For it is by Your son's example, Jesus, that I have learned the most effective weapon against hate is love.  Hate only begets more hate.  However, love is the only thing that destroys hate.  In that way, help me slay the wicked and sinful - not with equal and opposite hatred but with love.  For my hope is that people can tell that I am a follower of Christ by the way I love, and have loved.  It is in Your son's name that I pray for a changed and blessed heart.  Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 139:1-15 (KJV): In the midst of trouble thou wilt revive me

Psalm 139:1-15
(For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.)

¹I will praise thee with my whole heart:
      before the gods will I sing praise unto thee.
²I will worship toward thy holy temple,
      and praise thy name for thy lovingkindness and for thy truth:
for thou hast magnified thy word above all thy name.
³In the day when I cried thou answeredst me,
      and strengthenedst me with strength in my soul.
⁴All the kings of the earth shall praise thee,
      O LORD, when they hear the words of thy mouth.
⁵Yea, they shall sing in the ways of the Lord:
      for great is the glory of the Lord.
⁶Though the Lord be high,
      yet hath he respect unto the lowly:
but the proud he knoweth afar off.

⁷Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
      thou wilt revive me:
thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies,
      and thy right hand shall save me.
⁸The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me:
      thy mercy, O Lord, endureth for ever:
      forsake not the works of thine own hands.
⁹If I take the wings of the morning,
      and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
¹⁰Even there shall thy hand lead me,
      and thy right hand shall hold me.
¹¹If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me;
      even the night shall be light about me.
¹²Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee;
      but the night shineth as the day:
      the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.

¹³For thou hast possessed my reins:
      thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.
¹⁴I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made:
      marvellous are thy works;
      and that my soul knoweth right well.
¹⁵My substance was not hid from thee,
      when I was made in secret,
      and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

I heard an inspirational speech yesterday...some of which I'd like to share today.  There were three premises in the speech.  The first is that successful people fail often.  The second is that your capacity for failure will limit your capability for success.  The last, in order for you to be successful you must, not only be willing to fail, you must embrace failure as a path.

Why is this important for addicts?  It is important because a big part of recovery is overcoming our fears.  Our minds create these horrible perspectives of failure, which paralyze us in fear.  Our minds also create these images of other people that nobody has failed the way we have failed.  Nobody has the same obstacles that we face.  Everybody else has much better opportunities than we have.

How do we overcome that?  We have to have faith that out of every failure comes opportunity for a new beginning.  That in the midst of all problems God has His hand on us.  When I talk to many people who are successful in one way or another at some point in their lives they took a leap of faith.  They saw an opportunity and went for it.  Bet on a long shot.  Followed their heart.  Listened to the voice in their head.  Did what they knew was right.  And somewhere along the way trusted in God.  That no matter how bad it could get knew they would be caught.

Dear Lord.  Thank you for your messages in my life.  Thank you for reviving in the midst of troubles.  For showing me, no matter, how big the risks my mind portrays - the truth is that with You anything is possible.  If I can dream something I can realize it.  If I can visualize days and weeks of sobriety I can experience days and weeks of sobriety.  Thank you for the strength I need to overcome my fears.  Thank you for courage to look for and ask for help when I need it.  Continue to help me be honest with myself and others.  Be with other addicts who struggle with fears.  Give them the support and inspiration they need to be courageous and daring.  Give us the inspiration to pursue our dreams.  Give us the courage to speak our minds and to spread Your message.  In Jesus name I praise Thee.  Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.