Psalm 17 (KJV) - Give ear to my prayer that goeth not out of feigned lips

From Psalms

Psalm 17
(A prayer of David.)

¹Hear the right, O LORD,
      attend unto my cry,
give ear unto my prayer,
      that goeth not out of feigned lips.
²Let my sentence come forth from thy presence;
      let thine eyes behold the things that are equal.

³Thou hast proved mine heart; thou hast visited me in the night;
      thou hast tried me, and shalt find nothing;
      I am purposed that my mouth shall not transgress.
⁴Concerning the works of men,
      by the word of thy lips
I have kept me from the paths of the destroyer.
⁵Hold up my goings in thy paths,
      that my footsteps slip not.

⁶I have called upon thee, for thou wilt hear me, O God:
      incline thine ear unto me, and hear my speech.
⁷Show thy marvellous loving kindness,
      O thou that savest by thy right hand
      them which put their trust in thee from those that rise up against them.
⁸Keep me as the apple of the eye,
      hide me under the shadow of thy wings,
⁹From the wicked that oppress me,
      from my deadly enemies, who compass me about.

¹⁰They are inclosed in their own fat:
      with their mouth they speak proudly.
¹¹They have now compassed us in our steps:
      they have set their eyes bowing down to the earth;
¹²Like as a lion that is greedy of his prey,
      and as it were a young lion lurking in secret places.

¹³Arise, O LORD, disappoint him, cast him down:
      deliver my soul from the wicked, which is thy sword:
¹⁴From men which are thy hand, O LORD,
      from men of the world, which have their portion in this life,
and whose belly thou fillest with thy hid treasure:
      they are full of children,
      and leave the rest of their substance to their babes.
¹⁵As for me, I will behold thy face in righteousness:
      I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with thy likeness.

The Psalms of lament, which Psalm 17 is, seem to be especially comforting to me.  Give ear to my prayer, hear my cry, I am not feigning this crisis.  You are my last hope - that probably no human power can relieve me of this overpowering addiction.

It's 3:00 in the morning, I have just woken up from a fairly vivid dream about sex.  These dreams were more common in the first three months of my sobriety/abstinence.  However, work has been a little stressful recently and I'm feeling very tired when I come home - so, it's not surprising that they've come back.  I find this kind of rundown feeling is a strong catalyst to falling back into my old patterns.  I have talked about how HALT (Hunger, Anger, Loneliness, Tired) can be a path back into the hole of addiction.  So, it is important that I... or we, as addicts, monitor this closely.  I guess I'm thankful that this was just a dream and not a real experience in acting out.

Nevertheless, it is very fitting that I have Psalm 17 to comfort me.  To help me get through this and reassure me that God understands that my demons waits like a lion lurking in secret places, that are too dark even for me to know.  That if I continue to work at this, I will behold His face of righteousness, I shall be satisfied with the likeness of Christ.

Thanks for letting me share.