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| From Psalms |
1Praise ye the LORD.
Praise ye the name of the LORD;
praise him, O ye servants of the LORD.
2Ye that stand in the house of the LORD,
in the courts of the house of our God.
3Praise the LORD; for the LORD is good:
sing praises unto his name; for it is pleasant.
4For the LORD hath chosen Jacob unto himself,
and Israel for his peculiar treasure.
5For I know that the LORD is great,
and that our Lord is above all gods.
6Whatsoever the LORD pleased,
that did he in heaven, and in earth,
in the seas, and all deep places.
7He causeth the vapours to ascend from the ends of the earth;
he maketh lightnings for the rain;
he bringeth the wind out of his treasuries.
8Who smote the firstborn of Egypt,
both of man and beast.
9Who sent tokens and wonders into the midst of thee,
O Egypt, upon Pharaoh, and upon all his servants.
10Who smote great nations,
and slew mighty kings;
11Sihon king of the Amorites,
and Og king of Bashan,
and all the kingdoms of Canaan:
12And gave their land for an heritage,
an heritage unto Israel his people.
13Thy name, O LORD, endureth for ever;
and thy memorial, O LORD, throughout all generations.
14For the LORD will judge his people,
and he will repent himself concerning his servants.
15The idols of the heathen are silver and gold,
the work of men's hands.
16They have mouths, but they speak not;
eyes have they, but they see not;
17They have ears, but they hear not;
neither is there any breath in their mouths.
18They that make them are like unto them:
so is every one that trusteth in them.
19Bless the LORD, O house of Israel:
bless the LORD, O house of Aaron:
20Bless the LORD, O house of Levi:
ye that fear the LORD, bless the Lord.
21Blessed be the LORD out of Zion,
which dwelleth at Jerusalem.
Praise ye the LORD.
Here I sit on Easter Weekend counting my blessings. I am sober. I have my health, my family, and everything I could ever need. I managed to survive another season of lent without exploding, despite what my mind tells my body. Throughout the last six week my mind tried to tell my body that another day without caffeine or chocolate or porn or alcohol and I would inevitably explode. I prayed on what my mind was telling me...and realized that lent is a time to become closer to God through sacrifice. I realized God would not let me parish in an act that was intended to bring me closer to him.
In many ways every sober day is a day of sacrifice for an addict, which can be used to bring us closer to God. Every day we fight off the urges of our addiction with the risk that our bodies may explode if we don't get off the (water) wagon. The question is not whether or not a thought about our addictions will cross our mind or not. The question is how strong those thoughts will be. The question is whether our faith in God, or a higher power, will be greater than these thoughts.
Praise ye the Lord, for You have delivered me through another season of lent - and shown to me, your power. Shown to me, that resisting my addictions will not lead to me exploding - or any kind of certain death. That I can avoid bars and strip bars without any negative consequences. Shown that you can guide me to alternatives to porn and alcohol. That you can lead me in a better life in Your purpose. Lead me in a life that has long-term rewards instead of immediate gratification. A life that is full of love, joy, and opportunities - Your love, joy, and opportunities. Of course, there will be tests. Tests of my courage, tests of my faith, tests of my patience and perseverance. These are required to ensure my commitment to You, my sobriety and my recovery. However, I now look forward to these tests as opportunities. That these will become opportunities to demonstrate my gifts and talents. For I realize these gifts are blessings and must have opportunities to be demonstrated. For these blessings, I am forever grateful. In your name I give thanks. Amen.
Thanks for letting me share.
Amen!
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