Psalm 3 (KJV) - I cry out to the Lord and He delivers me, He sustains me

From Psalms

Psalm 3
(A psalm of David.  When he fled from his son Absalom.)


¹O LORD, how are they increased that trouble me!
      many are they that rise up against me.
²Many there be which say of my soul,
      There is no help for him in God.                            Selah

³But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me;
      my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.
⁴I cried unto the LORD with my voice,
      and he heard me out of his holy hill.                       Selah


⁵I laid me down and slept;
      I awaked; for the LORD sustained me.
⁶I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people,
      that have set themselves against me round about.
⁷Arise, O LORD;
      save me, O my God:
for thou hast smitten all mine enemies upon the cheek bone;
      thou hast broken the teeth of the ungodly.


⁸Salvation belongeth unto the LORD:
      thy blessing is upon thy people.                              Selah


Today as I revisit Psalm 3 I am reminded of the days when it was me against my addiction.  On those days I am defenseless.  There might as well be tens of thousands porn sites, strip clubs, web cam sites, bars, massage parlors, singles dating sites - surrounding me, drawn up on every side.  I am defenseless, if not for my God, and my Higher Power.


Thankfully, I call out to the Lord in my time of need, and He delivers me from this evil.  I fall asleep and in the morning I am still alive because it is His will - He sustains me.  I will be given the gift another day.  I will take this day as it is to seek His word, His strength, and His glory to fight to be free of this evil again.


I am grateful for Psalm 3 yet again.  What a truly beautiful and awesome morning prayer.


Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 2 (KJV) - Follow God's way or be destroyed in your own...

Psalm 2 (KJV)

¹Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine (plot) a vain thing?
²The kings of the earth set themselves,
      and the rulers take counsel together,
against the LORD, and against his anointed, saying,
^3"Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away their cords from us."
⁴He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh:
      the LORD shall have them in derision.
⁵Then shall he speak unto them in his wrath, and vex them in his sore displeasure.
⁶Yet have I set my king upon my holy hill of Zion.
⁷I will declare the decree: the LORD hath said unto me, Thou art my Son; this day have I begotten thee.
⁸Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance,
      and the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession.
⁹Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron;
      thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel.
¹⁰Be wise now therefore, O ye kings:
      be instructed, ye judges of the earth.
¹¹Serve the LORD with fear, and rejoice with trembling.
¹²Kiss the Son, lest he be angry,
      and ye perish from the way,
when his wrath is kindled but a little.
      Blessed are all they that put their trust in him.

I am so glad to be doing these psalms over again.  I see things in them now that I know I didn't see the first time I went through them.  "Serve the LORD...lest he be angry and you be destroyed in your way," from verses 11 and 12, is a good example of this.  As addicts we try to control things to go our way and it's not until we change our ways to God's way do we gain strength, and true control, and true manageability of our lives.  Let's review the third step prayer shall we:

Third Step Prayer (from p. 63 "Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous")

God, I offer myself to Thee--to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of
Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. 
May I do Thy will always!"

Understanding this and working towards this is a pivotal step in addiction recovery.  It allows us to dig deeper into problems and better address our symptom of addiction -- which is essentially what we do in step 4.

Of all the good things in this Psalm this one line may seem small - however, for me, and other recovering addicts, this is BIG.  So, understanding this is all that I think needs to be covered today.

Thank you for letting me share.

Psalm 1 (KJV) - Be like a tree planted by the rivers, bearing fruit

From Psalms

Psalm 1 (KJV)

¹Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly,
nor standeth in the way of sinners,
      nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

²But his delight is in the law of the LORD;
      and in his law doth he meditate day and night.

³And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water,
      that bringeth forth his fruit in his season;
      his leaf also shall not wither;
      and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.

⁴The ungodly are not so:
      but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away.

⁵Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment,
      nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.

⁶For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous:
      but the way of the ungodly shall perish.

This Psalm means more to me than six months ago (or so) when I first wrote it.  At the time I didn't understand the fruits the way I do now.  In a parable kind of way, I feel like the tree by the river, in a way I couldn't have felt six months ago.  I see the fruit of the spirit (Galations 5:22,23) in my life:  love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

I will have many more opportunities to talk about the fruit in later days.  However, for now let's focus on the fruit of peace.  This peace comes from the promises of the 12 steps.  I know now how to handle situations that used to baffle me.  Although my journey through the 12 steps is not complete - I am amazed before I am half-way through.

My entire life during my sex addiction had become unmanageable – not just the addicted part of my life, but my whole life.  You see, lies were not just part of covering up my addiction. Lies were everywhere.  Somedays I couldn't keep them all straight.  The worst part was when I believed the lies I told myself.  Now there is a genuine sense of relief and peace that I now do not have to lie.  The beauty of the 12 steps and my recovery is that I'm more honest about everything now, too.  I am truly grateful for the peace I have found in my recovery. 

I hope you will join me over the next 6 months as I try to journey through Psalms, again, and work on completing my 12 step journey.  I hope this journey will also help you, either with your own addiction, or helping somebody close to you who is afflicted with addiction.

thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 19 (NIV) - Lord keep me from my sinful ways, that they not rule over me

From Psalms

Psalm 19
(New International Version, Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica)
(For the director of music. A psalm of David.)



¹The heavens declare the glory of God;
      the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
²Day after day they pour forth speech;
      night after night they reveal knowledge.
³They have no speech, they use no words;
      no sound is heard from them.
⁴Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
      their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.
⁵     It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
      like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
⁶It rises at one end of the heavens
      and makes its circuit to the other;
      nothing is deprived of its warmth.

⁷ The law of the LORD is perfect,
      refreshing the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
      making wise the simple.
⁸The precepts of the LORD are right,
      giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant,
      giving light to the eyes.
⁹The fear of the LORD is pure,
      enduring forever.
The decrees of the LORD are firm,
      and all of them are righteous.

¹⁰They are more precious than gold,
      than much pure gold;
      they are sweeter than honey,
      than honey from the honeycomb.
¹¹By them your servant is warned;
      in keeping them there is great reward.
¹²But who can discern their own errors?
      Forgive my hidden faults.
¹³Keep your servant also from willful sins;
      may they not rule over me.
Then I will be blameless,
      innocent of great transgression.

¹⁴May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
      be pleasing in your sight,
      O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Today temptation is all around me. I am out of town for work..."on business," as it were. This used to be my great downfall. I could isolate and watch porn or visit new and adventurous strip clubs. I would dig myself deeper into my addiction. Today, though, it is different - I know that I am dealing with a progressive disease that will strike in new ways everyday - even in recovery. So I must be prepared. In fact, my own sponsor recently relapsed after more than 6 months of sobriety despite being at this recovery game much longer than I have. And so I learned that none of us addicts can become complacent lest we fall back into the hole of our addiction. In my preparation I was even ready to find a meeting in this town away from home to help me find fellowship in my recovery - because I know that is our best means in fighting this disease.

And this is the context for which I am looking at Psalm 19, again. The ways of the Lord, His decrees, His law, His word, His precepts, His statutes, His commands, and even the fear of the Lord are great and valuable. More valuable than gold. Sweeter than honey. This I know because in following them, as difficult as it may be, bring joy, beauty, love, and richness of life that is hard to measure.

Knowing this I pray that the Lord forgive my most sinful faults, which I try to hide. Knowing this I pray that the Lord keep me from addictive ways (or willful sins), help me avoid being sucked into the temptations around me, and that they not rule over me.

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in the sight of the Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 18 (NIV) Pt II - You armed me with strength and I destroyed my foes

From Psalms

Psalm 18
(New International Version, Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica)

(For the director of music. Of David the servant of the LORD. He sang to the LORD the words of this song when the LORD delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul. He said:)

³⁶You provide a broad path for my feet,
      so that my ankles do not give way.

³⁷I pursued my enemies and overtook them;
      I did not turn back till they were destroyed.
³⁸I crushed them so that they could not rise;
      they fell beneath my feet.
³⁹You armed me with strength for battle;
      you humbled my adversaries before me.
⁴⁰You made my enemies turn their backs in flight,
      and I destroyed my foes.
⁴¹They cried for help, but there was no one to save them—
      to the LORD, but he did not answer.
⁴²I beat them as fine as windblown dust;
      I trampled them like mud in the streets.
⁴³You have delivered me from the attacks of the people;
      you have made me the head of nations.
   People I did not know now serve me,
⁴⁴   foreigners cower before me;
      as soon as they hear of me, they obey me.
⁴⁵They all lose heart;
      they come trembling from their strongholds.

⁴⁶The LORD lives! Praise be to my Rock!
      Exalted be God my Savior!
⁴⁷He is the God who avenges me,
      who subdues nations under me,
⁴⁸   who saves me from my enemies.
You exalted me above my foes;
      from a violent man you rescued me.
⁴⁹Therefore I will praise you, LORD, among the nations;
      I will sing the praises of your name.

⁵⁰He gives his king great victories;
      he shows unfailing love to his anointed,
      to David and to his descendants forever.

Today, I feel good - and ready to face another day with new strength. God has a way of answering our prayers even in ways we don't necessarily expect.  I was having a bad day yesterday. One that, in the past, would have inevitably lead me to acting out. However, I went to a meeting where we were doing a reading from Step 4 from "The 12 steps for Christians" (Please see my "Books" section for more information).  As we were reading this I realized that I was having a bad day because I wasn't being honest with myself.  I was trying to do too much - and had committed to too many things at work and at home.  I was being stretched between the two, home and work, and wasn't supporting either very well.

I started to go over the day again and analyzed how I would do it again if I were to do it over.  As I went over it I understood my role in creating the situation.  You see during the day I felt like people were out to get me - which is common for addicts.  As we go through step 4 we realize that's not really the case.  We realize that there are probably things that we do to make these situations happen.  At some point along the way I had forgotten these key truths.

So, today I am armed with strength and I am armed with knowledge.

Thanks for letting me share.