Psalm 12 (KJV) - With a double heart do they speak

From Psalms

Psalm 12
(For the director of music. According to sheminith (musical term). A psalm of David.)

¹Help, LORD; for the godly man ceaseth;
      for the faithful fail from among the children of men.
²They speak vanity every one with his neighbor:
      with flattering lips and with a double heart do they speak.
³The LORD shall cut off all flattering lips,
      and the tongue that speaketh proud things:
⁴Who have said, With our tongue will we prevail;
      our lips are our own: who is lord over us?
⁵For the oppression of the poor,
      for the sighing of the needy,
now will I arise, saith the LORD;
      I will set him in safety from him that puffeth at him.
⁶The words of the LORD are pure words:
      as silver tried in a furnace of earth,
      purified seven times.
⁷Thou shalt keep them, O LORD,
      thou shalt preserve them from this generation for ever.
⁸The wicked walk on every side,
      when the vilest men are exalted.

This is great psalm...I think you'll find I say that about a lot of Psalms because, I guess, I have come to appreciate the honesty of psalms.

It just so happens this is what this psalm is all about - honesty.  We all lie.  We exaggerate, we withhold information, we play dumb, we cover up, we deflect...and then sometimes we just down right lie.  We tell people we were somewhere when we weren't.  Or that we weren't when we were.  We all lie, unfortunately.  And because lying is a sin, we are all sinful.  There is no longer any godly person among us.  Even the most faithful believer fails.

When we take step one as addicts and alcoholics lying and dishonesty is a big part of our (un)manageability.     As addicts we lied, we were deceitful, and we covered up our problem.  We lied to our spouses, we lied to our kids, we lied to our co-workers - and we especially lied to ourselves.  We lied so much we couldn't keep track of our lies - and sometimes had to double back on our lies when our lies conflicted.

One of the biggest things for me, in recovery, I am now more aware of where I spent my time.  When I was acting out, at the end of a busy week, I knew I had been busy but I couldn't tell you where I spent my time because I couldn't be honest with myself about the time I had spent acting out.  Now, it's so nice to know where I spent my time at the end of a busy week.  In general, it's so nice not to have to keep track of the lies.

Don't get me wrong, there is still more work I am doing to be honest.  I had lied to my wife so much that sometimes I still don't understand that I can, and need to, be honest with her all the time.  I continue to pray to God to remove my dishonest nature - and everyday, bit by bit, slowly, I can see him working this process in my heart.

Thanks for letting me share.