Psalm 26 (KJV): Examine my reins and my heart

From Psalms

Psalm 26
(Of David)


¹Judge me, O LORD;
      for I have walked in mine integrity:
I have trusted also in the LORD;
      therefore I shall not slide.
²Examine me, O LORD, and prove me;
      try my reins and my heart.
³For thy loving kindness is before mine eyes:
      and I have walked in thy truth.
⁴I have not sat with vain persons,
      neither will I go in with dissemblers.
⁵I have hated the congregation of evil doers;
      and will not sit with the wicked.
⁶I will wash mine hands in innocency:
      so will I compass thine altar, O LORD:
⁷That I may publish with the voice of thanksgiving,
      and tell of all thy wondrous works.
⁸LORD, I have loved the habitation of thy house,
      and the place where thine honour dwelleth.

⁹Gather not my soul with sinners,
      nor my life with bloody men:
¹⁰In whose hands is mischief,
      and their right hand is full of bribes.
¹¹But as for me, I will walk in mine integrity:
      redeem me, and be merciful unto me.

¹²My foot standeth in an even place:
      in the congregations will I bless the LORD.

Dear God, you know me and you know that I am not an evil person.  Yet, I struggle to follow your narrow path of truth with integrity.  I am tested daily in whether I am close to you and whether I trust in you.  I am tested in my focus to work the steps, pray, or become closer to you.  I am tested in the temptations that are continuously put in front of me, as I am inundated with sex in the media and marketing all around me.  I am tested in whether or not I objectify women.  I am tested in my support of my family.  I am tested in the presence of cigarettes and alcohol.

I am grateful for these tests for every test is an opportunity for me to learn about my nature and an opportunity to learn about God and how I can become closer to God.  As I learn these things my life becomes richer and more rewarding.

I am grateful that my God is patient and works slowly.  This change in my life has come slowly, one day at a time.  However, when I look back and compare a day now to a day a year ago or two years ago I can see a difference.  In that difference I can see the results of many tests, mostly small, some large, but many, many tests.

Thanks for letting me share.