Psalm 18 (NIV) Pt I - He reached down...drew me out of deep waters

From Psalms

Psalm 18
(New International Version, Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica)

(For the director of music. Of David the servant of the LORD. He sang to the LORD the words of this song when the LORD delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul. He said:)
¹I love you, LORD, my strength.

² The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
     my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
     my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

³I called to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
     and I have been saved from my enemies.
⁴The cords of death entangled me;
     the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.
⁵The cords of the grave coiled around me;
     the snares of death confronted me.

⁶In my distress I called to the LORD;
     I cried to my God for help.
     From his temple he heard my voice;
     my cry came before him, into his ears.
⁷The earth trembled and quaked,
     and the foundations of the mountains shook;
     they trembled because he was angry.
⁸Smoke rose from his nostrils;
     consuming fire came from his mouth,
     burning coals blazed out of it.
⁹He parted the heavens and came down;
     dark clouds were under his feet.
¹⁰He mounted the cherubim and flew;
     he soared on the wings of the wind.
¹¹He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him—
     the dark rain clouds of the sky.
¹²Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced,
     with hailstones and bolts of lightning.
¹³The LORD thundered from heaven;
     the voice of the Most High resounded.
¹⁴He shot his arrows and scattered the enemy,
     with great bolts of lightning he routed them.
¹⁵The valleys of the sea were exposed
     and the foundations of the earth laid bare
     at your rebuke, LORD,
     at the blast of breath from your nostrils.

¹⁶He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
     he drew me out of deep waters.
¹⁷He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
     from my foes, who were too strong for me.
¹⁸They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
     but the LORD was my support.
¹⁹He brought me out into a spacious place;
     he rescued me because he delighted in me.

²⁰The LORD has dealt with me according to my righteousness;
     according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me.
²¹For I have kept the ways of the LORD;
     I am not guilty of turning from my God.
²²All his laws are before me;
     I have not turned away from his decrees.
²³I have been blameless before him
     and have kept myself from sin.
²⁴The LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness,
     according to the cleanness of my hands in his sight.

²⁵To the faithful you show yourself faithful,
     to the blameless you show yourself blameless,
²⁶to the pure you show yourself pure,
     but to the devious you show yourself shrewd.
²⁷You save the humble
     but bring low those whose eyes are haughty.
²⁸You, LORD, keep my lamp burning;
     my God turns my darkness into light.
²⁹With your help I can advance against a troop;
     with my God I can scale a wall.

³⁰As for God, his way is perfect:
     The LORD’s word is flawless;
     he shields all who take refuge in him.
³¹For who is God besides the LORD?
     And who is the Rock except our God?
³²It is God who arms me with strength
     and keeps my way secure.
³³He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
     he causes me to stand on the heights.
³⁴He trains my hands for battle;
     my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
³⁵You make your saving help my shield,
     and your right hand sustains me;
     your help has made me great.

Psalm 18 marks the first of many psalms that I could not fit into 1 page. So, Psalm 18 will span multiple days. This is good because then I can share more messages...more good news...about this Psalm.

In any case, let's start with verse 16-19, because this stands out to me.  During my recovery he reached down from high, took hold of me; pulled me out deep waters.  Lord knows I was in over my head in my addiction - and drowning.  He rescued me from my enemy, which was my addiction, which was too strong and powerful for me (step 1).  My addiction confronted me in the day of my disaster but God was my support.  He brought me to a good and spacious place...where I was out of danger.

Then from verses 25-29.  God is faithful - and those who are faithful to God, know this.  You are blameless, and those who are blameless know this.  You are pure - and those who are pure, know this, too.  However, when people are devious and choose to follow their own plan - they know You are shrewd.  You save the humble, turn darkness to light.  With God nothing is impossible - with You I can scale a wall.

I have mentioned in the past that I have a problem with some of these Psalms.  It's not a problem with the Psalms per se, as much as it is a problem with me.  You see, verses 20-24, the Lord did not save me because I am righteous.  He saved me because he is righteous.  He saved me because he is a forgiving Lord.  He saved me according to His righteousness.  That's not to say I don't try everyday to be more like Jesus than the day before.  But try as I might, I still fail.  I am not perfect.  However, God knows this - and he saves me regardless.  For that I am truly grateful.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 17 (NIV) - I call on you, my God, for you will answer me

From Psalms

Psalm 17 (New International Version, Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica)
(A prayer of David.)

¹ Hear me, LORD, my plea is just;
     listen to my cry.
Hear my prayer—
     it does not rise from deceitful lips.
²Let my vindication come from you;
     may your eyes see what is right.

³Though you probe my heart,
     though you examine me at night and test me,
you will find that I have planned no evil;
     my mouth has not transgressed.
⁴Though people tried to bribe me,
     I have kept myself from the ways of the violent
     through what your lips have commanded.
⁵My steps have held to your paths;
     my feet have not stumbled.

⁶I call on you, my God, for you will answer me;
     turn your ear to me and hear my prayer.
⁷Show me the wonders of your great love,
     you who save by your right hand
     those who take refuge in you from their foes.
⁸Keep me as the apple of your eye;
     hide me in the shadow of your wings
⁹from the wicked who are out to destroy me,
     from my mortal enemies who surround me.

¹⁰They close up their callous hearts,
     and their mouths speak with arrogance.
¹¹They have tracked me down, they now surround me,
     with eyes alert, to throw me to the ground.
¹²They are like a lion hungry for prey,
     like a fierce lion crouching in cover.

¹³Rise up, LORD, confront them, bring them down;
     with your sword rescue me from the wicked.
¹⁴By your hand save me from such people, LORD,
     from those of this world whose reward is in this life.
May what you have stored up for the wicked fill their bellies;
     may their children gorge themselves on it,
     and may there be leftovers for their little ones.

¹⁵As for me, I will be vindicated and will see your face;
     when I awake, I will be satisfied with seeing your likeness.

I have to admit I have a bit of problem with Psalm 17, especially verses 3-5.  For who has not stumbled in His path?  Who has not lied?  Who's mouth has not transgressed?  Who among us is without sin?  That is what I find so amazing about our Christian God.

Despite being deceitful.  Despite being liars.  Despite being addicts.  Despite all that, God still shows everything in verses 6-15.  God still answers our prayers.  God still shows us "the wonders of his great love."  He keeps each of us as the apple of His eye.  He hides us in the shadow of His wings.  He rescues us from the wicked.  He does all of this because we are forgiven because, here on Good Friday, we remember Jesus died on the cross for us.

Let me put this into context.  In the past few days I have had to deal with addictive urges.  6 months into my sobriety, I find my thoughts on sex can still be consuming.  There has been a lot of stress at work; I have been working a lot; not getting much sleep.  I still have a part of my brain that feels the need to mask that stress with porn, and of course the endorphins.  So, I have to pray.  I have to focus on Psalms.  I have to focus on the 12 steps.  Focus until the urge and temptation within me subsides, because as strong as the urge is, I have faith that it will subside.  It does subside, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, but it does subside.  With God's grace, he answers my prayers and the urges subside, and once again I can move forward in His path.  I breathe a sigh of relief and move forward - and I feel like I am forgiven.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 16 (NIV) - Lord, apart from you I have no good thing

From Psalms

Psalm 16 (New International Version, ©2011)
(A miktam of David)

¹Keep me safe, my God,
     for in you I take refuge.

²I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord;
     apart from you I have no good thing.”
³I say of the holy people who are in the land,
     “They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.”
⁴Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more.
     I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods
     or take up their names on my lips.

⁵LORD, you alone are my portion and my cup;
     you make my lot secure.
⁶The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
     surely I have a delightful inheritance.
⁷I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
     even at night my heart instructs me.
⁸I keep my eyes always on the LORD.
     With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

⁹Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
     my body also will rest secure,
¹⁰because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,
     nor will you let your faithful one see decay.
¹¹You make known to me the path of life;
     you will fill me with joy in your presence,
     with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

"The best things in life are not things."  No car, no money, no house, no worldy things could add up to value that I get in the fruits of the Lord.  For example, the love of my friends and family.  The joy they bring in my life, especially when I see them laugh and smile.  These are gifts from God.  He is my portion and my cup - and my cup runneth over.

It has not always been this way.  I used believe that I could gain happiness came from these worldly things.  I used to be crippled by fear.  I did not understand the difference between love and lust.  I looked for love in places where it was supposed to be sold - when all along God had given it to me in my own home.  I used to blame others for problems which I had created myself.  I cared only about my own goals and desires.

Thankfully, he is slowly replacing my fear with strength.  He is replacing my frustration with patience.  Replacing my selfishness with selflessness; my pride with humility; procrastination with action, deceit with honesty.  Slowly, God is changing me and changing my life.  Everyday, with His guidance, I continue to grow and learn more.  I have a better understanding what is truly important in life.  With that understanding, life is so much better - I'm happier, I'm more confident, things are more smooth and manageable, and I know there isn't anything I can't work through when they aren't.

Therefore my heart is glad, I rejoice and my body rest securely.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 15 (NIV) - Who keeps his oath even when it hurts

From Psalms

Psalm 15 (New International Version, ©2011)
(A psalm of David.)

¹LORD, who may dwell in your sacred tent?
     Who may live on your holy mountain?

²The one whose walk is blameless,
     who does what is righteous,
     who speaks the truth from their heart;
³whose tongue utters no slander,
     who does no wrong to a neighbor,
     and casts no slur on others;
⁴who despises a vile person
     but honors those who fear the LORD;
who keeps an oath even when it hurts,
     and does not change their mind;
⁵who lends money to the poor without interest;
     who does not accept a bribe against the innocent.

     Whoever does these things
     will never be shaken.

Verses 4 and 5 stand out to this addict.  "Who keeps his oath even when it hurts and does not change his mind...will never be shaken."  It stands out for a few reasons.  It stands out because the initial process of recovery was painful for me.  I was no longer able to mask my problems with my addiction, couldn't drown my sorrows in alcohol or soothe my pain in endorphins.  This was both a mental trial as well as a physical trial.  As my body slowly learned to live without the endorphin painkillers I experienced headaches and fatigue.

However, as we, addicts, keep our oath to our Higher Power and we slowly becoming stronger.  For me my oath was re-writing all 150 psalms without relapsing.  It has been said that, "Pain is just weakness leaving your body."  I'm not sure who said it but it makes a lot of sense in this situation.  To that end as we go through this pain, in keeping our oath, we become stronger and we will not be shaken.  I certainly felt that, and know that today I am stronger and more confident than I was 6 months ago, for keeping my oath.

Here's hoping that God can provide strength and guidance in your life as he has in mine.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 14 (NIV) - The LORD looks to down...to see if there are any...who seek God

From Psalms

Psalm 14 (New International Version, ©2011)
(For the director of music. Of David.)

¹The fool says in his heart,
     “There is no God.”
They are corrupt, their deeds are vile;
     there is no one who does good.

²The LORD looks down from heaven
     on all mankind
to see if there are any who understand,
     any who seek God.
³All have turned away, all have become corrupt;
     there is no one who does good,
     not even one.

⁴Do all these evildoers know nothing?

     They devour my people as though eating bread;
     they never call on the LORD.
⁵But there they are, overwhelmed with dread,
     for God is present in the company of the righteous.
⁶You evildoers frustrate the plans of the poor,
     but the LORD is their refuge.

⁷Oh, that salvation for Israel would come out of Zion!
     When the LORD restores his people,
     let Jacob rejoice and Israel be glad!

Rarely was I successful in my recovery for more than two weeks before I would relapse, again.  I bring this up because Psalm 14 marked the two week period of my sobriety.  I believe my previous attempts at sobriety failed because I didn't have anything positive to focus on.  During these failed attempts I was focusing on not acting out, not watching porn, not relapsing - Since I was focusing on the negative behavior I was doomed to fail.  Psalms, and praying psalms to God, were the positive outlet that I needed to be successful.  Eventually, I would start to see God working in my life as a result of my prayers.

My behavior didn't change overnight, though.  I slowly began become more aware of my triggers - that lead to my acting out.  A few things, like stress at work, lack of sleep, would lead me into my home office where I would previously log in to my lap to initiate the process of acting out.  Previously, I would use my laptop to find some new exploit, looking for strip clubs, massage parlors, or free internet porn sites.  However, with the project of re-writing psalms, instead of opening my laptop, I would open my NIV Bible.

In these moments of clarity I began to see how things, common in other addicts, like H.A.L.T. (Hunger, Anger, Loneliness, Tired) could trigger my previous behaviors which would lead me deeper into my hole of addiction.  Psalms made sure I would not allow these things to lead to my hole of addiction.  From there, not only could I stop these things from leading me astray, as time went on, I began to be able to prevent those triggers in the first place.  Praise the Lord, indeed.  That is part of the true path of recovery.  Obviously this led to even bigger and better things - like being able to rely more on God and understanding that my addiction was simply a symptom of larger problems in my life.  Nevertheless, initially, simply being able to avoid the behavior which had previously consumed my life seemed like huge progress.  Something I know I could not have done without God's healing hand - something that seemed only possible with Psalms.

Thanks for letting me share.