Psalm 16 (KJV) - Thou wilt show me the path of life

From Psalms

Psalm 16
(A miktam of David)

¹Preserve me, O God:
      for in thee do I put my trust.
²O my soul, thou hast said unto the LORD, Thou art my Lord:
      my goodness extendeth not to thee;
³But to the saints that are in the earth,
      and to the excellent, in whom is all my delight.
⁴Their sorrows shall be multiplied
      that hasten after another god:
their drink offerings of blood will I not offer,
      nor take up their names into my lips.

⁵The LORD is the portion of mine inheritance and of my cup:
      thou maintainest my lot.
⁶The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places;
      yea, I have a goodly heritage.

⁷I will bless the LORD, who hath given me counsel:
      my reins also instruct me in the night seasons.
⁸I have set the LORD always before me:
      because he is at my right hand,
      I shall not be moved.

⁹Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth:
      my flesh also shall rest in hope.
¹⁰For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell (Sheol);
      neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption.
¹¹Thou wilt show me the path of life:
      in thy presence is fullness of joy;
      at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.

The life of an addict is no life at all.  It is full of desperation.  It is full of pain and sorrow.  It is full of confusion.  It is full of failure.

Thankfully there is recovery in the 12 steps and in a higher power.  I am reading a great book right now called The Making of a Disciple, by Keith Phillips.  In it he puts a new perspective on Step 3 for me.  In it he talks about self death - the dying of self.  In my case, the person I was as an addict, and replacing it with God.

For me this makes a lot of sense to me - as the path of life.  Specifically because the life I had (as an addict) was empty and truly was no life at all.  However, through God I am experiencing a new joy and new pleasures.  Truly I have a long way to go to what Dr. Phillips expresses as a true disciple, but I think I'm heading in the right direction.  There are many similarities between what Dr. Phillips calls discipling and being a sponsor in twelve step programs.  So, as I make my way through the last four steps I think he has helped give me guidance and goals to aim for in my 12 step journey.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 15 (KJV) - who shall dwell in thy holy hill?

From Psalms

Psalm 15
(A psalm of David.)

¹LORD, who shall abide in thy tabernacle?
who shall dwell in thy holy hill?

²He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness,
      and speaketh the truth in his heart.
³He that backbiteth not with his tongue,
      nor doeth evil to his neighbour,
      nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbour.
⁴In whose eyes a vile person is condemned;
      but he honoureth them that fear the LORD.
He that sweareth to his own hurt, and changeth not.
⁵He that putteth not out his money to usury,
      nor taketh reward against the innocent.

He that doeth these things shall never be moved.

A short and simple psalm - with simple truths.  Who shall go to heaven?  The upright and righteous of course. Those who are honest.  Those who do no wrong to their neighbor or gossip.  Those who condemn evil - I have to believe the psalmist means openly.  Those who do not go back on their word, despite what suffering they may experience.  Those who give of reasonably of their money and do not overcharge for it.  Those who does these things will have the strength of the Lord on their side.

It's merely 5 verses.  On the surface it looks so easy - but as I ponder these...these gestures, these actions, I realize it's not so easy to maintain.  I lie and am dishonest.  I gossip.  I turn a blind eye when I see evil.  I break promises.  I take little risk with my money and invest it where I expect to get the best return.  Thinking only of myself.  I may do these things all the time.  I may not do these things everyday.  Nevertheless, I do them and have some spiritual character to develop.

I may be hard on myself - however, I think I need to be realistic about the things I need to fix to realize that I need God's help to remove my defects of character.

Dear Lord, keep me honest with what I know in my heart to be true.  Teach me to think more of others, to be considerate, supportive and selfless.  Guide me in ways that are caring, considerate and loving instead of lustful.  Help me be responsible and thoughtful when my nature is to be reckless, self-indulgent and impulsive. Direct me in ways to keep me calm tempered and patient.  Remind me, when I covet and steal, that the gifts you provide me are worth far more than anything worldly, and I should be more grateful for those.  Finally, give me the courage and strength to be open, when my tendency is to be defensive and withdrawn.

I suppose that's how we humbly ask for God to remove our shortcomings.  That feels good - I think I'll be able to sleep better tonight.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 14 (KJV) - because the Lord is his refuge

From Psalms

Psalm 14
(For the director of music. Of David.)

¹The fool hath said in his heart,
      There is no God.
They are corrupt, they have done abominable works,
      there is none that doeth good.
²The LORD looked down from heaven upon the children of men,
      to see if there were any that did understand, and seek God.
³They are all gone aside,
      they are all together become filthy:
      there is none that doeth good, no, not one.
⁴Have all the workers of iniquity no knowledge?
      who eat up my people as they eat bread, and call not upon the LORD.
⁵There were they in great fear:
      for God is in the generation of the righteous.
⁶Ye have shamed the counsel of the poor,
      because the LORD is his refuge.
⁷Oh that the salvation of Israel were come out of Zion!
      when the LORD bringeth back the captivity of his people,
Jacob shall rejoice, and Israel shall be glad.

So, for the second time in just over a month I am travelling for business.  I am tempted - I am lustful.  Thankfully, my schedule has kept me quite busy so that venturing out on my own to find a strip bar or massage parlor in the area isn't really an option.  At night I've been tired that I can actually sleep well, but not so tired I don't have my wits about me that I need to buy an adult movie.

Keeping my mind focused this morning on Psalms, and on God, helps.  It helps a lot, because the Lord is my refuge.  He captures my mind and is my captivity.  However as I read this psalm through, again, I have to wonder are we all filthy?  Filthy, yes, but not without hope.  There is hope that in this world of shallowness and greed - that He shall make his way known to us.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 13 (KJV) - How long wilt thou forget me...he hath dealt bountifully to me

From Psalms

Psalm 13
(For the director of music. A psalm of David.)

¹How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? for ever?
      how long wilt thou hide thy face from me?
²How long shall I take counsel in my soul,
      having sorrow in my heart daily?
      how long shall mine enemy be exalted over me?

³Consider and hear me, O LORD my God:
      lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death;
⁴Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed against him;
      and those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved.
⁵But I have trusted in thy mercy;
      my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation.
⁶I will sing unto the LORD,
      because he hath dealt bountifully with me.

Today my blog received its first comment. I was so stoked only to find out it somebody who was just trying to make money from his adsense. His comment had nothing to do with my blog. It was very disappointing.  Nevertheless, on this blogger's site he had a prayer which reminded of the "Paradoxes of Prayer" which is in step seven of "The Twelve Steps for Christians" (p 120) from RPI Publishing.  Psalm 13 also reminds of this prayer - with the paradox of "having sorrow in my heart daily..." yet at the same time, "he hath dealt bountifully with me."

Paradoxes of Prayer

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve

I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey...

I asked for health, that I might do greater things

I was given infirmity, that I might do better things...

I asked for riches, that I might be happy

I was given poverty, that I might be wise...

I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men

I was given weakness, that I might feel the need for God...

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life

I was given life, that I might enjoy all things...

I got nothing that I asked for - but everything I had hoped for

Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered

I am among all, most richly blessed!

How true this fits to my current pursuit in humbly asking God to remove my defects of character.  There's not much else to say...all I can do is sit and meditate on these thoughts.

Thank you for letting me share.

Psalm 12 (KJV) - With a double heart do they speak

From Psalms

Psalm 12
(For the director of music. According to sheminith (musical term). A psalm of David.)

¹Help, LORD; for the godly man ceaseth;
      for the faithful fail from among the children of men.
²They speak vanity every one with his neighbor:
      with flattering lips and with a double heart do they speak.
³The LORD shall cut off all flattering lips,
      and the tongue that speaketh proud things:
⁴Who have said, With our tongue will we prevail;
      our lips are our own: who is lord over us?
⁵For the oppression of the poor,
      for the sighing of the needy,
now will I arise, saith the LORD;
      I will set him in safety from him that puffeth at him.
⁶The words of the LORD are pure words:
      as silver tried in a furnace of earth,
      purified seven times.
⁷Thou shalt keep them, O LORD,
      thou shalt preserve them from this generation for ever.
⁸The wicked walk on every side,
      when the vilest men are exalted.

This is great psalm...I think you'll find I say that about a lot of Psalms because, I guess, I have come to appreciate the honesty of psalms.

It just so happens this is what this psalm is all about - honesty.  We all lie.  We exaggerate, we withhold information, we play dumb, we cover up, we deflect...and then sometimes we just down right lie.  We tell people we were somewhere when we weren't.  Or that we weren't when we were.  We all lie, unfortunately.  And because lying is a sin, we are all sinful.  There is no longer any godly person among us.  Even the most faithful believer fails.

When we take step one as addicts and alcoholics lying and dishonesty is a big part of our (un)manageability.     As addicts we lied, we were deceitful, and we covered up our problem.  We lied to our spouses, we lied to our kids, we lied to our co-workers - and we especially lied to ourselves.  We lied so much we couldn't keep track of our lies - and sometimes had to double back on our lies when our lies conflicted.

One of the biggest things for me, in recovery, I am now more aware of where I spent my time.  When I was acting out, at the end of a busy week, I knew I had been busy but I couldn't tell you where I spent my time because I couldn't be honest with myself about the time I had spent acting out.  Now, it's so nice to know where I spent my time at the end of a busy week.  In general, it's so nice not to have to keep track of the lies.

Don't get me wrong, there is still more work I am doing to be honest.  I had lied to my wife so much that sometimes I still don't understand that I can, and need to, be honest with her all the time.  I continue to pray to God to remove my dishonest nature - and everyday, bit by bit, slowly, I can see him working this process in my heart.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 11 (KJV) - In the LORD I put my trust

From Psalms

Psalm 11
(For the director of music. Of David.)

¹In the LORD put I my trust:
      how say ye to my soul,
      Flee as a bird to your mountain?
²For, lo, the wicked bend their bow,
      they make ready their arrow upon the string,
that they may privily shoot at the upright in heart.
³If the foundations be destroyed,
      what can the righteous do?

⁴The LORD is in his holy temple,
      the LORD's throne is in heaven:
his eyes behold,
      his eyelids try, the children of men.
⁵The LORD trieth the righteous:
      but the wicked and him that loveth violence
      his soul hateth.
⁶Upon the wicked he shall rain
      snares, fire and brimstone,
      and an horrible tempest: this shall be the portion of their cup.

⁷For the righteous LORD loveth righteousness;
      his countenance doth behold the upright.

I know this is hard to believe but there will be days that I will not have much to say about the Psalm entry.  I do find this frustrating that I am not that wise.  Nevertheless, I am grateful that I have Psalms and a God that I can pray to and a God that answers my prayers.  So, today I can say, "In the Lord I put my trust."

This is very important to me - because as a sex addict I have a...call it a sixth sense for temptation.  Yesterday, I was driving down a road that I have never been down before and I noticed an adult bookstore.  Almost as if out of the corner of my eye.  I'm sure most people wouldn't have seen it.  Not me though, I will never miss them.  The same thing with massage parlors, which are much more discreet - since they're illegal.  Most people will not even notice them in the strip mall that they're in.  If they happen to notice them, they will not give them a second glance for the draped up, "chiropractic," "reflexology," or "accupressure" shop that the purport to be.

It is in those times that I need a God.  That I ask for his strength to keep my car going straight.  To this day, with almost 8 months of abstinence (or sobriety), somehow it is still an option in my mind that I can pull off and check it out.  However, I am determined that I will make it to 1 year and I am not going to give away my 8 months so easily.  So, I pray.  I am told by addicts with many years of recovery that our disease is persistent, almost like diabetes, and doing these things (praying, going to meetings, working the steps) will never end.  We just become better at it and  incorporate them into our lives more easily.  Like the diabetic with their insulin shots.  So, I guess I'm getting used to that fact.

Thank you for letting me share.

Psalm 10 (KJV) - prepare their heart...cause thine ear to hear

From Psalms

Psalm 10

¹Why standest thou afar off, O LORD?
      why hidest thou thyself in times of trouble?

²The wicked in his pride doth persecute the poor:
      let them be taken in the devices that they have imagined.
³For the wicked boasteth of his heart's desire,
      and blesseth the covetous, whom the LORD abhorreth.
⁴The wicked, through the pride of his countenance, will not seek after God:
      God is not in all his thoughts.
⁵His ways are always grievous;
      thy judgments are far above out of his sight:
      as for all his enemies, he puffeth at them.
⁶He hath said in his heart, I shall not be moved:
      for I shall never be in adversity.
⁷His mouth is full of cursing and deceit and fraud:
      under his tongue is mischief and vanity.
⁸He sitteth in the lurking places of the villages:
      in the secret places doth he murder the innocent:
      his eyes are privily set against the poor.
⁹He lieth in wait secretly as a lion in his den:
      he lieth in wait to catch the poor:
      he doth catch the poor, when he draweth him into his net.
¹⁰He croucheth, and humbleth himself,
      that the poor may fall by his strong ones.
¹¹He hath said in his heart, God hath forgotten:
      he hideth his face; he will never see it.

¹²Arise, O LORD; O God, lift up thine hand:
      forget not the humble.
¹³Wherefore doth the wicked condemn God?
      he hath said in his heart,
      Thou wilt not require it.
¹⁴Thou hast seen it; for thou beholdest mischief and spite,
      to requite it with thy hand:
the poor committeth himself unto thee;
      thou art the helper of the fatherless.
¹⁵Break thou the arm of the wicked and the evil man:
      seek out his wickedness till thou find none.

¹⁶The LORD is King for ever and ever:
      the heathen are perished out of his land.
¹⁷LORD, thou hast heard the desire of the humble:
      thou wilt prepare their heart, thou wilt cause thine ear to hear:
¹⁸To judge the fatherless and the oppressed,
      that the man of the earth may no more oppress.

I noticed something yesterday, as I retyped Psalm 9 and then again as I retyped Psalm 10.  The same term that is translated in NIV as "afflicted"  is translated as "humble" in KJV.  I find this interesting because those two terms aren't usually synonymous.  Maybe, however, they are synonymous because God gives us affliction in order to to humble us.

Whatever the case it is even more interesting the way this psalm starts.  Why would the psalmist think that God is far from us in times of trouble?  I know we often feel that way.  But maybe there's a hint at the end when he writes, (in my words) you hear the desire of the humble/afflicted and will prepare their heart and cause their ear to hear.  Maybe, what we're reminded in this psalm is that, in times of trouble, when we are afflicted or humbled, our hearts and ears are not open to him.  Maybe, it's not God who's far from us, but us who is far from God.

So, the next time you're troubled, and life is not going your way, ask yourself is God far from you - or is it you who is far from God.  Ask have I been doing his will.  Has my heart and ears been open to hear his word and his direction.  The key is to answering this question is having total honesty - because all too often the answer will be no.  The good news is when the answer is no, and we know where the problem lies, it makes it easier to fix.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 9 (KJV) - The Lord will not forget the cry of the humble

From Psalms

Psalm 9
(For the director of music. To the tune of “The Death of the Son.” A psalm of David.)
(Psalms 9 and 10 may have been originally a single acrostic poem. In the Septuagint they constitute one psalm.)


¹I will praise thee, O LORD, with my whole heart;
      I will shew forth all thy marvellous works.
²I will be glad and rejoice in thee:
      I will sing praise to thy name, O thou most High.

³When mine enemies are turned back,
      they shall fall and perish at thy presence.
⁴For thou hast maintained my right and my cause;
      thou satest in the throne judging right.
⁵Thou hast rebuked the heathen, thou hast destroyed the wicked,
      thou hast put out their name for ever and ever.
⁶O thou enemy, destructions are come to a perpetual end:
      and thou hast destroyed cities;
      their memorial is perished with them.

⁷But the LORD shall endure for ever:
      he hath prepared his throne for judgment.
⁸And he shall judge the world in righteousness,
      he shall minister judgment to the people in uprightness.
⁹The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed,
      a refuge in times of trouble.
¹⁰And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee:
      for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee.

¹¹Sing praises to the LORD, which dwelleth in Zion:
      declare among the people his doings.
¹²When he maketh inquisition for blood, he remembereth them:
      he forgetteth not the cry of the humble.

¹³Have mercy upon me, O LORD;
      consider my trouble which I suffer of them that hate me,
      thou that liftest me up from the gates of death:
¹⁴That I may shew forth all thy praise
      in the gates of the daughter of Zion:
      I will rejoice in thy salvation.
¹⁵The heathen are sunk down in the pit that they made:
      in the net which they hid is their own foot taken.
¹⁶The LORD is known by the judgment which he executeth:
      the wicked is snared in the work of his own hands.            Higgaion. Selah.
¹⁷The wicked shall be turned into hell (Hebrew Sheol),
      and all the nations that forget God.
¹⁸For the needy shall not always be forgotten:
      the expectation of the poor shall not perish for ever.

¹⁹Arise, O LORD; let not man prevail:
      let the heathen be judged in thy sight.
²⁰Put them in fear, O LORD:
      that the nations may know themselves to be but men.         Selah.

It has been said that humbling ourselves is not thinking less of ourselves.  Rather it is thinking of ourselves, less - and thinking of others more.  I am currently working step 7.  I know I haven't blogged about where I am in the steps much.  However, I'm going to start being more specific about my addiction and my recovery.  I have learned in meetings recently that specifics are an incredibly important part of honesty.  Generally, the more specific a share the more honest it is.

In any case, as part of step 7, I am humbly asking God to remove my defects of character.  If I can borrow from Psalm 9, this is what that looks like today:

I cry out to the Lord that he remove my impatience.  In times when I am impatient help me find calm, kindness, and flexibility.  Have mercy upon me Lord for I am selfish and inconsiderate.  In times when I am selfish and inconsiderate guide me in ways that are cooperative, courteous, supportive, trustworthy, and kind.  Lord I trust in you for you know that I am lustful and impulsive.  Lord I trust in you, that in times when I am lustful and impulsive that you teach me ways to be grow, admit my wrongs, be good tempered, and emotionally stable.  Lastly Lord I procrastinate.  I cry out that when I struggle with my procrastination that you will give me strength and courage to do what is right - the strength to be decisive, the ability to be industrious, conscientious, painstaking and careful, the fortitude to be focused and succint.  Amen.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 8 (KJV) - Out of the mouths babes comes strength (and wisdom)

From Psalms

Psalm 8
(For the Director of Music.  According to gittith.  A psalm of  David.)
¹O LORD, our Lord,
      how excellent is thy name in all the earth!
who hast set thy glory
      above the heavens.

²Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings
      hast thou ordained strength
because of thine enemies,
      that thou mightest still the enemy and the avenger.

³When I consider thy heavens,
      the work of thy fingers,
the moon and the stars,
      which thou hast ordained;
⁴What is man, that thou art mindful of him?
      and the son of man, that thou visitest him?
⁵For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels,
      and hast crowned him with glory and honour.

⁶Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of thy hands;
      thou hast put all things under his feet:
⁷All sheep and oxen,
      yea, and the beasts of the field;
⁸The fowl of the air,
      and the fish of the sea,
      and whatsoever passeth through the paths of the seas.

⁹O LORD our Lord,
      how excellent is thy name in all the earth!

Sometimes, the differences between KJV and NIV are very interesting.  Verse 2 of King James inspires me to write something completely different today that what I wrote in my post for Psalm 8 NIV.  I have said before that God speaks to us, and works in our lives, through those close to us.  We never expect this wisdom to come from children.  However, children are so honest and so matter of fact that it shouldn't be a surprise when it comes from them.

Let me give an example that sticks out in my mind.  Last Summer I was driving home in rush hour traffic with my 5 year old son in the back seat, trying to do too many things and running late for an appointment.  Obviously, I was getting frustrated with traffic when I asked something along the lines of, "What are all these people doing here, and how am I going to get through this?"  To which my son responded, "Don't worry Dad.  God is always on our side."  Those words stick with me to this day.  Not just that specific instance - but as I deal with the problems of my addiction and life in general.

I'm sure I can think of several more if I gave it more time to think.  However, I'm well behind pace of publishing this blog.  If I maintain this pace I won't be through the 150 Psalms on this blog in the next year.  For your sake and mine I don't want that to happen.  However, I would hope that you can go out and find your wisdom from the mouths of babes today - and use that for your faith, your hope, and victory over lifes problems.  Whether those problems are an addiction or something else remember God is always on our side.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 7 (KJV) - Oh let the wickedness come to an end

From Psalms

Psalm 7
(A shiggaion of David, which he sang to the LORD concerning Cush a Benjamite.)

¹O LORD my God, in thee do I put my trust:
      save me from all them that persecute me, and deliver me:
²Lest he tear my soul like a lion,
      rending it in pieces, while there is none to deliver.


³O LORD my God, If I have done this;
      if there be iniquity in my hands;
⁴If I have rewarded evil unto him that was at peace with me;
      (yea, I have delivered him that without cause is mine enemy:)
⁵Let the enemy persecute my soul, and take it;
      yea, let him tread down my life upon the earth,
      and lay mine honour in the dust.                                                      Selah


⁶Arise, O LORD, in thine anger,
      lift up thyself because of the rage of mine enemies:
      and awake for me to the judgment that thou hast commanded.
⁷So shall the congregation of the people compass thee about:
      for their sakes therefore return thou on high.
⁸The LORD shall judge the people:
      judge me, O LORD, according to my righteousness, and
      according to mine integrity that is in me.
⁹Oh let the wickedness of the wicked come to an end;
      but establish the just: for the righteous
      God trieth the hearts and reins.


¹⁰My defence is of God,
      which saveth the upright in heart.
¹¹God judgeth the righteous,
      and God is angry with the wicked every day.
¹²If he turn not,
      he will whet his sword;
      he hath bent his bow, and made it ready.
¹³He hath also prepared for him the instruments of death;
      he ordaineth his arrows against the persecutors.

¹⁴Behold, he travaileth with iniquity,
      and hath conceived mischief, and brought forth falsehood.
¹⁵He made a pit, and digged it,
      and is fallen into the ditch which he made.
¹⁶His mischief shall return upon his own head,
      and his violent dealing shall come down upon his own pate.
¹⁷I will praise the LORD according to his righteousness:
      and will sing praise to the name of the LORD most high.

I really like Psalm 7.  It's all about the addict.  As addicts we conceive mischief and "bring forth falsehood".  Why falsehood, lying, dishonesty, covering up, hiding is what our addiction is all about.  And our lies and dishonesty build up on each other, and after a while we can't keep track of all our lies - until we've buried ourselves as I described when I typed out the NIV version of Psalm 7.

However, today I would like to focus on a different part of this Psalm the part (verses 8-13) where the psalmist talks about God as a judge.  He is able to search our hearts (verse 9) and is angry with the wicked everyday (verse 11).  Although I'm not sure about the analogies of instruments of death in this psalm, I would definitely agree God has tools to thwart evil and the evil in our hearts.

You see, I once read a quote that said something like, "If God thinks you need disaster in your life in order for you to realize you need to change your life - he will make that happen."  In that way, I believe every disaster, problem, or temptation is an opportunity.  In the case of our addiction, we can do address it one of two ways.  We can either reach out for help, go to a meeting, pray, and essentially search for change in our lives.  Or we can simply going on with mischief and falsehood - and let our addiction continue to destroy our lives, destroy our relationships, and destroy our careers.

I pray that when God puts a problem or a temptation in your life that you are able to use it to make you stronger - rather than to let it destroy you.

Thank you for letting me share.

Psalm 6 (KJV) - Have mercy upon me, O Lord for I am weak

From Psalms

Psalm 6

¹O LORD, rebuke me not in thine anger,
      neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure.
²Have mercy upon me, O LORD; for I am weak:
      O LORD, heal me; for my bones are vexed.
³My soul is also sore vexed:
      but thou, O LORD, how long?
⁴Return, O LORD, deliver my soul:
      oh save me for thy mercies' sake.
⁵For in death there is no remembrance of thee:
      in the grave who shall give thee thanks?
⁶I am weary with my groaning;
      all the night make I my bed to swim;
      I water my couch with my tears.
⁷Mine eye is consumed because of grief;
      it waxeth old because of all mine enemies.
⁸Depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity;
      for the LORD hath heard the voice of my weeping.
⁹The LORD hath heard my supplication;
      the LORD will receive my prayer.
¹⁰Let all mine enemies be ashamed and sore vexed:
      let them return and be ashamed suddenly.

As an addict I am weak - and I need constant healing and support from God.  One of the people from a meeting I attend regularly compared addiction to diabetes.  He said, in the same way a diabetic needs insulin everyday for the rest of their lives so do addicts need the steps, meetings, and God.  Without these things we would not be sober and abstinent.  These things are not temporary these are continuous, even in addicts that have been sober for 5, 10, 20 years.  So, this is how I am weak and weary.  It may not be physically weak but especially spiritually we need the healing of God for this.

Thankfully, like the diabetic's insulin, my prayers are answered.  God and his word gives me strength.  The steps point me in the right direction, and the fellowship in the meetings helps me expose my addiction, my lies, and my problems.  Like I talked about in my last post - when we pray God answers.  Even when we feel like he has forsaken us and everything seems bleak - he will give us hope.  This is what faith is.

Since today is Mother's day let us take this faith and hope and spread it to those Mothers in our lives who given us love and hope.
Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 5 (KJV) - Let all who trust in the Lord rejoice

From Psalms

Psalm 5

¹Give ear to my words, O LORD, consider my meditation.
²Hearken unto the voice of my cry,
      my King, and my God:
      for unto thee will I pray.
³My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O LORD;
      in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.
⁴For thou art not a God that hath pleasure in wickedness:
      neither shall evil dwell with thee.
⁵The foolish shall not stand in thy sight:
      thou hatest all workers of iniquity.
⁶Thou shalt destroy them that speak leasing:
      the LORD will abhor the bloody and deceitful man.
⁷But as for me, I will come into thy house in the multitude of thy mercy:
      and in thy fear will I worship toward thy holy temple.
⁸Lead me, O LORD, in thy righteousness because of mine enemies;
      make thy way straight before my face.
⁹For there is no faithfulness in their mouth;
      their inward part is very wickedness;
their throat is an open sepulchre;
      they flatter with their tongue.
¹⁰Destroy thou them, O God;
      let them fall by their own counsels;
cast them out in the multitude of their transgressions;
      for they have rebelled against thee.
¹¹But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice:
      let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them:
let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee.
¹²For thou, LORD, wilt bless the righteous;
      with favour wilt thou compass him as with a shield.

For the past several days as I convert my entries to the public domain of KJV from NIV I was simply restating my shares from my original Psalm postings. I realized that was neither fair for you or for me. Everyday we all learn something new - and I am no different. So, everyday as I become stronger in the Lord, and especially stonger against my addictions, there is something different that I have to share.  Since the number of NIV verses that I have posted doesn't exceed 250 (in fact, it's only 210 if you wanted to count) - I will leave those in place to help others that may be struggling with their addiction.

So, today I would like to share about faith. Faith is believing in prayer - believing what Psalm 5 tells us. That he will lead us and make his way known in front of us.  Faith is, despite things not going so well, despite things being very bleak, faith is trusting that God is with us and will answer our prayers.  When we're in the middle of temptation that he will present us with way out.  That he will present us with an opportunity, or a friend with an outstretched hand.

As I have said before, God will sometimes give us lemons, for which we can make lemonade.  He provides tests in which we can choose to demonstrate our faith - or choose to show that we have not fully handed the trust of our lives to him.  Most of the time, in these tests, it just takes a prayer.  Once you see the results and the power you are more likely to rely on it.  And so it goes that faith begets faith - and from faith comes hope.  Eventually, we understand that everything is possible in the Lord.  Even overcoming the strangle of addiction.

This week a couple of things happened where things didn't look so good - but with a little faith God pointed me in the right direction.  In the first situation, I happened to find myself at home alone - which is usually a free ticket to surf unrestricted on the internet.  In this situation after a little prayer, I realized in working step 7 I needed to be asking him to remove my selfishness and replacing it with selflessness.  Quickly, that lead to several things around the house, including cleaning the kitchen for my wife, that I needed to take care of.  In this way He got me back on the right path.

Another time I was out riding my bike and got a flat tire.  My tools weren't getting me back on my bike - but after a little prayer another rider came along and helped me get my bike going, again. 

I could have gotten frustrated, angry, impatient - any number of things could have made those situations worse.  However, faith made them all better.  I cried out in need and God answered - as he always does when we are in need.  As Psalm 5 says (in verse 11), let all who trust in the Lord rejoice.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 4 (KJV) - I call to the Lord and he fills my heart with greater joy

From Psalms

Psalm 4   
(For the director of music. With stringed instruments. A psalm of David.)

¹Hear me when I call,
      O God of my righteousness:
thou hast enlarged me when I was in distress;
      have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer.
²O ye sons of men, how long will ye turn my glory into shame?
      how long will ye love vanity, and seek after leasing?                         Selah
³But know that the LORD hath set apart him that is godly for himself:
      the LORD will hear when I call unto him.
⁴Stand in awe, and sin not:
      commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still.               Selah
⁵Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the LORD.
⁶There be many that say, Who will shew us any good?
      LORD, lift thou up the light of thy countenance upon us.
⁷Thou hast put gladness in my heart,
      more than in the time that their corn and their wine increased.
⁸I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep:
      for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.

In A Purpose Driven Life Rick Warren (on Day 12) says this about psalms, and being honest with God:
"To instruct us in candid honesty, God gave us the book of Psalms - a worship manual, full of ranting, raving, doubts, fears, resentments, and deep passions combined with thanksgiving, praise, and statements of faith.  Every possible emotion is catalogued in Psalms.  When you read the emotional confessions of David and others, realize this is how God wants you to worship him - holding back nothing of what you feel.  You can pray like David: 'I pour out my complaints before him and tell him all my troubles. For I am overwhelmed.'(Psalm 142:2-3a New Living Translation)"

For me, you can see this kind of emotion in Psalm 4, especially in the opening verse in David's cry for help.  This was exactly what I needed in my first days of sobriety.  I needed to know that I could cry out to God in a pure and honest way.  I needed to know that He would answer.  It was also comforting to know how He would answer me.  As David shows in verses 7 and 8 - with a greater joy than anything worldly could offer and with peace that I have not known before.  As I go through these again I now see how they changed my life.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 3 (KJV) - I cry out to the Lord and He delivers me, He sustains me

From Psalms

Psalm 3
(A psalm of David.  When he fled from his son Absalom.)


¹O LORD, how are they increased that trouble me!
      many are they that rise up against me.
²Many there be which say of my soul,
      There is no help for him in God.                            Selah

³But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me;
      my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.
⁴I cried unto the LORD with my voice,
      and he heard me out of his holy hill.                       Selah


⁵I laid me down and slept;
      I awaked; for the LORD sustained me.
⁶I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people,
      that have set themselves against me round about.
⁷Arise, O LORD;
      save me, O my God:
for thou hast smitten all mine enemies upon the cheek bone;
      thou hast broken the teeth of the ungodly.


⁸Salvation belongeth unto the LORD:
      thy blessing is upon thy people.                              Selah


Today as I revisit Psalm 3 I am reminded of the days when it was me against my addiction.  On those days I am defenseless.  There might as well be tens of thousands porn sites, strip clubs, web cam sites, bars, massage parlors, singles dating sites - surrounding me, drawn up on every side.  I am defenseless, if not for my God, and my Higher Power.


Thankfully, I call out to the Lord in my time of need, and He delivers me from this evil.  I fall asleep and in the morning I am still alive because it is His will - He sustains me.  I will be given the gift another day.  I will take this day as it is to seek His word, His strength, and His glory to fight to be free of this evil again.


I am grateful for Psalm 3 yet again.  What a truly beautiful and awesome morning prayer.


Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 2 (KJV) - Follow God's way or be destroyed in your own...

Psalm 2 (KJV)

¹Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine (plot) a vain thing?
²The kings of the earth set themselves,
      and the rulers take counsel together,
against the LORD, and against his anointed, saying,
^3"Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away their cords from us."
⁴He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh:
      the LORD shall have them in derision.
⁵Then shall he speak unto them in his wrath, and vex them in his sore displeasure.
⁶Yet have I set my king upon my holy hill of Zion.
⁷I will declare the decree: the LORD hath said unto me, Thou art my Son; this day have I begotten thee.
⁸Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance,
      and the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession.
⁹Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron;
      thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel.
¹⁰Be wise now therefore, O ye kings:
      be instructed, ye judges of the earth.
¹¹Serve the LORD with fear, and rejoice with trembling.
¹²Kiss the Son, lest he be angry,
      and ye perish from the way,
when his wrath is kindled but a little.
      Blessed are all they that put their trust in him.

I am so glad to be doing these psalms over again.  I see things in them now that I know I didn't see the first time I went through them.  "Serve the LORD...lest he be angry and you be destroyed in your way," from verses 11 and 12, is a good example of this.  As addicts we try to control things to go our way and it's not until we change our ways to God's way do we gain strength, and true control, and true manageability of our lives.  Let's review the third step prayer shall we:

Third Step Prayer (from p. 63 "Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous")

God, I offer myself to Thee--to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of
Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. 
May I do Thy will always!"

Understanding this and working towards this is a pivotal step in addiction recovery.  It allows us to dig deeper into problems and better address our symptom of addiction -- which is essentially what we do in step 4.

Of all the good things in this Psalm this one line may seem small - however, for me, and other recovering addicts, this is BIG.  So, understanding this is all that I think needs to be covered today.

Thank you for letting me share.