Psalm 60 (KJV): Through God we shall do valiantly

From Psalms

Psalm 60
(For the director of music upon Shushan-eduth (festival testimony). A mitkam of David to teach. When he fought Aram Naharaim, and when Joab returned and struck down twelve thousand Edomites in the Valley of Salt.)

¹O God, thou hast cast us off, thou hast scattered us,
      thou hast been displeased; O turn thyself to us again.
²Thou hast made the earth to tremble; thou hast broken it:
      heal the breaches thereof; for it shaketh.
³Thou hast shewed thy people hard things:
      thou hast made us to drink the wine of astonishment.

⁴Thou hast given a banner to them that fear thee,
      that it may be displayed because of the truth.                  Selah.

⁵That thy beloved may be delivered;
      save with thy right hand, and hear me.
⁶God hath spoken in his holiness;
      I will rejoice, I will divide Shechem,
      and mete out the valley of Succoth.
⁷Gilead is mine, and Manasseh is mine;
      Ephraim also is the strength of mine head;
      Judah is my lawgiver;
⁸Moab is my washpot;
      over Edom will I cast out my shoe:
      Philistia, triumph thou because of me.

⁹Who will bring me into the strong city?
      who will lead me into Edom?
¹⁰Wilt not thou, O God, which hadst cast us off?
      and thou, O God, which didst not go out with our armies?
¹¹Give us help from trouble:
      for vain is the help of man.
¹²Through God we shall do valiantly:
      for he it is that shall tread down our enemies.

Here David was fighting for the Lord in the north and mistakenly though that he was safe from attack from the south.  In this same manner, we often find ourselves victorious in part, or parts, of lives only to experience defeat in another area we thought we were safe.  As an addict and alcoholic it was more than this - almost no part of my life was victorious.  My life was unmanageable - all of it.

It is a slow journey to bring victories to the various aspects of my life.  However, as I do I constantly find areas where I am under sneak attack, like David in the south.  When my recovery seems in check something at home comes up that surprises me.  When my family life seems victorious an issue at work sneaks up on me.  When these happen, I remind myself to keep focused, not be distracted by the lure of my addictions.  It helps to pray verse 12, "Through God we shall do valiantly: for he it is that shall tread down our enemies."  For God knows you're up to the job he's assigned you.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 59 (KJV): Deliver me from the workers of iniquity

From Psalms

Psalm 59
(For the director of music. To the tune of “Do Not Destroy.” Of David. A miktam. When Saul had sent men to watch David’s house in order to kill him.)

¹Deliver me from mine enemies, O my God:
      defend me from them that rise up against me.
²Deliver me from the workers of iniquity,
      and save me from bloody men.

³For, lo, they lie in wait for my soul:
      the mighty are gathered against me;
      not for my transgression, nor for my sin, O LORD.
⁴They run and prepare themselves without my fault:
      awake to help me, and behold.
⁵Thou therefore, O LORD God of hosts, the God of Israel,
      awake to visit all the heathen:
      be not merciful to any wicked transgressors.                Selah.

⁶They return at evening:
      they make a noise like a dog,
      and go round about the city.
⁷Behold, they belch out with their mouth:
      swords are in their lips:
      for who, say they, doth hear?
⁸But thou, O LORD, shalt laugh at them;
      thou shalt have all the heathen in derision.

⁹Because of his strength will I wait upon thee:
      for God is my defence.
¹⁰The God of my mercy shall prevent me:
      God shall let me see my desire upon mine enemies.
¹¹Slay them not,
      lest my people forget:
scatter them by thy power;
      and bring them down, O Lord our shield.
¹²For the sin of their mouth
      and the words of their lips
      let them even be taken in their pride:
and for cursing and lying which they speak.
¹³Consume them in wrath,
      consume them, that they may not be:
and let them know that God ruleth in Jacob
      unto the ends of the earth.                                   Selah.

¹⁴And at evening let them return;
      and let them make a noise like a dog,
      and go round about the city.
¹⁵Let them wander up and down for meat,
      and grudge if they be not satisfied.
¹⁶But I will sing of thy power;
      yea, I will sing aloud of thy mercy in the morning:
for thou hast been my defence
      and refuge in the day of my trouble.

¹⁷Unto thee, O my strength, will I sing:
      for God is my defence, and the God of my mercy.

There seem to be more people around me recently that lie.  Maybe I'm more aware of their lies because I am more honest with my self as a result of working the 12 steps.  Whatever the case, especially at work I see it.  I see it for different reasons.  There's one person who lies in order to gain more control of situations - telling me one thing and another person something else.  There's another person who lies because she's insecure - she never wants to admit she doesn't know something.

Although these people are not out to get me, like the enemies in David's 59th psalm, per se, their lies undermine the work I am trying to do.  Normally, I find their lies frustrating and unnecessary - Today, however, I am choosing to pray for the liars.  That they may find security in their lives and who they are they do not need lie any longer.  That they learn what it means to be open and honest.  That they find the responsibility and authority they need without deception.

Not everyday in recovery is about me.  Often its about others' actions - and how I react to the actions of others.  I know I cannot control the actions of others.  There are effective ways to react to the behavior and ineffective ways.  The two most effective ways of dealing with it are to a) turn it over to God by praying for them, and, b) telling the person about how their behavior effects me and makes me feel.  Sometimes its not always possible safe to take option b, but, option a is always open.  In taking option a we are often guided on a means to take option b.  Remember that He is not only your God, He is also your heavenly Father - you are special to Him.  God is just waiting for your to seek His assistance, and He wants you to have faith that he will  step in and take a hand in circumstances in your life where you need it.  Tell your heavenly Father about the attacks against you, and those that sin of the mouth, curse and lie.  Then watch as they are scattered and are consumed.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 58 (KJV): righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance

From Psalms

Psalm 58
(For the director of music. To the tune of “Do Not Destroy.” Of David. A miktam.)

¹Do ye indeed speak righteousness, O congregation?
      do ye judge uprightly, O ye sons of men?
²Yea, in heart ye work wickedness;
      ye weigh the violence of your hands in the earth.
³The wicked are estranged from the womb:
      they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.
⁴Their poison is like the poison of a serpent:
      they are like the deaf adder that stoppeth her ear;
⁵Which will not hearken to the voice of charmers,
      charming never so wisely.

⁶Break their teeth, O God,
      in their mouth: break out the great teeth of the young lions, O LORD.
⁷Let them melt away as waters which run continually:
      when he bendeth his bow to shoot his arrows, let them be as cut in pieces.
⁸As a snail which melteth, let every one of them pass away:
      like the untimely birth of a woman, that they may not see the sun.

⁹Before your pots can feel the thorns,
      he shall take them away as with a whirlwind, both living, and in his wrath.
¹⁰The righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance:
      he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked.
¹¹So that a man shall say,
      Verily there is a reward for the righteous:
      verily he is a God that judgeth in the earth.

I am told that this psalm was written by David shortly after he took the throne of Israel.  He was facing up to the realization that the administration of judicial, establish by Saul, was rife with corruption.  The judges believed they were above the law.  Given this background, this psalm seems a bit strong in its condemnation of the judges, evil at birth, estranged from the Lord from the womb.

It is a difficult and frustrating situation where we don't see justice served - where evil is not punished.  It makes emotional and brings the worst out in us.  However, David, as the psalmist turns the tables and gives us new perspective verses 10 and 11 as he closes the psalm.  He reminds us that the only real judge, the supreme judge is God.  God judges rightly.

Sometimes we all have bad days and feel like the world is out to get us and persecute us.  Those are the days, as addicts, when we want to retreat we see no easy way out.  On those days we need to remind ourselves of this psalm that you are in the excellent company of Jesus.  As long as we are living our lives and doing things in the manner that God intends, and Jesus taught, we are blessed and should excited.  So don't get emotional, or frustrated and angry, and definitely let's not turn back into addiction in these situations.  Let's not take revenge on these antagonists, rather let's pray for them.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 57 (KJV): O God, my heart is fixed

From Psalms

Psalm 57
(For the director of music. To the tune of “Do Not Destroy.” Of David. A michtam. When he had fled from Saul into the cave.)

¹Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me:
      for my soul trusteth in thee:
yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge,
      until these calamities be overpast.

²I will cry unto God most high;
      unto God that performeth all things for me.
³He shall send from heaven, and saves me
     from the reproach of him that would swallow me up.         Selah.
     God shall send forth his mercy and his truth.

⁴My soul is among lions:
      and I lie even among them that are set on fire,
even the sons of men, whose teeth are spears and arrows,
      and their tongue a sharp sword.

⁵Be thou exalted, O God, above the heavens;
      let thy glory be above all the earth.

⁶They have prepared a net for my steps;
      my soul is bowed down:
they have digged a pit before me,
      into the midst whereof they are fallen themselves.     Selah.

⁷My heart is fixed, O God,
      my heart is fixed:
      I will sing and give praise.
⁸Awake up, my glory;
      awake, psaltery and harp:
      I myself will awake early.

⁹I will praise thee, O Lord, among the people:
      I will sing unto thee among the nations.
¹⁰For thy mercy is great unto the heavens,
      and thy truth unto the clouds.

¹¹Be thou exalted, O God, above the heavens:
      let thy glory be above all the earth.

A miktam, as I mentioned yesterday, speaks of something substantial, meaningful, enduring, or fixed - worthy of being etched in stone.  Here in Psalm 57, verse 7, David says, "My heart is fixed," that is a miktam.  This is further highlighted by the secondary title of the music this should be set to, "Do Not Destroy."

These psalms, as prayers keep me strong and help the urges of my addiction.  I pray, like David, "in the shadows of thy wings I will make my refuge."  These psalms for me, are the Lord's wings, my refuge - especially a refuge for my addiction.

There's much more to this psalm - like in verse 6 how a trap set for David turns into a trap for his enemies, who set the trap.  How often has that happened to all of us.  In trying to trap someone else we find ourselves in the very trap we set.  Which resonates Booker T Washington's quote, "To keep a man down, you must stay down with him."

There's no other fancy conclusions today.  Just try to live a good life and stay sober until tomorrow.  Via con dios.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 56 (KJV): this I know, for God is for me

From Psalms

Psalm 56
(For the director of music. To the tune of “A Dove on Distant Oaks.” Of David. A miktam. When the Philistines had seized him in Gath.)

¹Be merciful unto me, O God: for man would swallow me up;
      he fighting daily oppresseth me.
²Mine enemies would daily swallow me up:
      for they be many that fight against me, O thou most High.

³What time I am afraid,
      I will trust in thee.
⁴In God I will praise his word,
      in God I have put my trust; I will not fear
      what flesh can do unto me.

⁵Every day they wrest my words:
      all their thoughts are against me for evil.
⁶They gather themselves together, they hide themselves,
      they mark my steps,
      when they wait for my soul.

⁷Shall they escape by iniquity?
      in thine anger cast down the people, O God.
⁸Thou tellest my wanderings:
      put thou my tears into thy bottle:
      are they not in thy book?

⁹When I cry unto thee,
      then shall mine enemies turn back:
      this I know; for God is for me.
¹⁰In God will I praise his word:
      in the LORD will I praise his word.
¹¹In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid
      what man can do unto me.

¹²Thy vows are upon me, O God:
      I will render praises unto thee.
¹³For thou hast delivered my soul from death:
      wilt not thou deliver my feet from falling,
that I may walk before God
      in the light of the living?

A miktam, and I will probably say this several times over the next four entries, is about things that last, things that are enduring.  Certainly the satisfaction, happiness, rush, or high from addiction is temporary.  Even the urges of addiction, when managed properly will pass.  However, the love and support of God is always true and everlasting.

Just as I have titled today's entry, from verse 9, "this I know, for God is for me."  And if God is for me who can be against me.  No matter what the situation, no matter how good or bad, I have learned over the past year God is there.  This will always be true - and so when it's really good I praise the Lord.  When it's not so good he helps me find the good - and I praise the Lord.  When it's bad - well I pray, and I cry out to the Lord.  Just as David does in these psalms.  In all these situations he is there for me.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 55:21-23 (KJV): Cast thy burden on the Lord and he shall sustain thee

From Psalms

Psalm 55:21-23

²¹The words of his mouth were smoother than butter,
      but war was in his heart:
his words were softer than oil,
      yet were they drawn swords.

²²Cast thy burden upon the LORD,
      and he shall sustain thee:
he shall never suffer
      the righteous to be moved.
²³But thou, O God, shalt bring them down
      into the pit of destruction:
bloody and deceitful men
      shall not live out half their days;
      but I will trust in thee.

Let's continue where we left off yesterday in Psalm 55.  Outlines the betrayal by a good friend - or I should say, a seemingly good friend.  Yesterday I discussed how addiction plays the role of betraying friend - and so I just want to close up this discussion.

The words of our addiction seem smoother than butter - but war is in its heart.  Cast thy burden on the Lord, instead of a disloyal friend, and the Lord shall sustain the addict.  God will help you fight your addiction.  All you need to do is ask...in prayer.  Ask and you will be saved.  I will trust in the Lord.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 55:1-20 (KJV): But it was thou...my guide and mine acquaintance

From Psalms

Psalm 55
(For the director of music. With stringed instruments. A maskil of David.)

¹Give ear to my prayer, O God;
     and hide not thyself from my supplication.
²     Attend unto me, and hear me:
I mourn in my complaint, and make a noise;
³     Because of the voice of the enemy,
      because of the oppression of the wicked:
for they cast iniquity upon me,
      and in wrath they hate me.

⁴My heart is sore pained within me:
      and the terrors of death are fallen upon me.
⁵Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me,
      and horror hath overwhelmed me.
⁶And I said, Oh that I had wings like a dove!
      for then would I fly away, and be at rest.
⁷Lo, then would I wander far off,
      and remain in the wilderness.                        Selah.
⁸I would hasten my escape
      from the windy storm and tempest.

⁹Destroy, O Lord, and divide their tongues:
      for I have seen violence and strife in the city.
¹⁰Day and night they go about it upon the walls thereof:
      mischief also and sorrow are in the midst of it.
¹¹Wickedness is in the midst thereof:
      deceit and guile depart not from her streets.

¹²For it was not an enemy that reproached me;
      then I could have borne it:
neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me;
      then I would have hid myself from him:
¹³But it was thou, a man mine equal,
      my guide, and mine acquaintance.
¹⁴We took sweet counsel together,
      and walked unto the house of God in company.

¹⁵Let death seize upon them,
      and let them go down quick into hell:
      for wickedness is in their dwellings, and among them.

¹⁶As for me, I will call upon God;
      and the LORD shall save me.

¹⁷Evening, and morning, and at noon,
      will I pray, and cry aloud:
      and he shall hear my voice.
¹⁸He hath delivered my soul in peace
      from the battle that was against me:
      for there were many with me.
¹⁹God shall hear, and afflict them,
      even he that abideth of old.                           Selah.
Because they have no changes,
      therefore they fear not God.

²⁰He hath put forth his hands against such as be at peace with him:
      he hath broken his covenant.

One theory about Psalm 55 is that it was written when Absalom, David's son, had lead a rebellion against him.  Then David found out that Ahithophel, a member of his cabinet and close friend, had gone to join with Absalom.  He had betrayed David.  Many of us have been betrayed.  We know that when someone you have trusted betrays you it hurts.

In verses 13 and 14 we find some truths about these betrayals.  These people, in your presence will swear their loyalty, they will pray for you, and pray with you.  Then as soon as you turn your back they will betray you.  There are people like that all around us.  These people who act as guides and close friends, only to set us up.

We know this can be said of certain people but as I type this I can't help but to think this is also true about our addictions.  Our addictions initially offer some kind of escape, like a friend.  A solace.  A place where we felt welcome, where we felt we belonged.  Only after time to find betrayal.  That the escape was no escape at all - that our problems had become compound.  That our solace had been a trap.  That the chains of this trap were deceptively strong and binding.

Thankfully though there was, and still is, a way out.  We simply had to ask for help.  However, asking for help was not easy.  We didn't know how to ask or who to ask.  Eventually we found people who could show us that we needed to ask God.  In time, we would also learn how to ask - in honest way that was pleasing to God.  Through this journey of learning how to ask we became faithful and we had become stronger in this faith.  After some time we found we could also help others find their way out of the trap.  The trick then was to make sure we never found our way back - everyday that still remains the goal.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 54 (KJV): For he hath delivered me out off all trouble

From Psalms

Psalm 54
(For the director of music. With stringed instruments. A maskil of David. When the Ziphites had gone to Saul and said, “Is not David hiding among us?”)

¹Save me, O God, by thy name,
      and judge me by thy strength.
²Hear my prayer, O God;
      give ear to the words of my mouth.

³For strangers are risen up against me,
      and oppressors seek after my soul:
      they have not set God before them.            Selah.

⁴Behold, God is mine helper:
      the Lord is with them that uphold my soul.

⁵He shall reward evil unto mine enemies:
      cut them off in thy truth.

⁶I will freely sacrifice unto thee:
      I will praise thy name, O LORD; for it is good.
⁷For he hath delivered me out of all trouble:
      and mine eye hath seen his desire upon mine enemies.

Wow - it's been one year of sobriety.  I don't know that I thought I'd ever be able to do this.  In the past year I've learned a few things and my perspective is quite a bit different than it was.  More than anything, I have learned what it means to have faith in God.

So it is fitting that my 1st anniversary has Psalm 54.  It shows David's faith during the time of Great Tribulation when we find David in great distress, but yet with a great confidence in the help of God.  As we know, David was delivered from the Ziphites.  Just as David was delivered, so it is that you and I can be assured that God will deliver us from our distress, whether its addictions or something else.  God will surely keep his promises.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 53 (KJV): God looked down from heaven...there is none that doeth good

From Psalms

Psalm 53
(For the director of music. According to mahalath. A maskil of David.)

¹The fool hath said in his heart,
      There is no God.
Corrupt are they, and have done abominable iniquity:
      there is none that doeth good.

²God looked down from heaven
      upon the children of men,
to see if there were any that did understand,
      that did seek God.
³Every one of them is gone back: they are altogether become filthy;
      there is none that doeth good,
      no, not one.

⁴Have the workers of iniquity no knowledge?
      who eat up my people as they eat bread:
      they have not called upon God.
⁵There were they in great fear,
      where no fear was:
for God hath scattered the bones of him that encampeth against thee:
      thou hast put them to shame, because God hath despised them.

⁶Oh that the salvation of Israel were come out of Zion!
      When God bringeth back the captivity of his people,
      Jacob shall rejoice, and Israel shall be glad.

Fairly recently I have read a book called, "Love Wins."  In it Rob Bell highlights some possibilities of what hell and heaven are.  As I read the book, it seemed to come clear to me a life spent in addiction, and without God, is in fact hell.  A life, on the other hand, with God, in honesty and serving other people (as Jesus taught us to do) is heaven.

With that context let me discuss Psalm 53.  Psalm 53 is a maskil, or an instructional psalm.  This is important for this a short and not so sweet psalm because it gives a glimpse into a world without God.  No regard for human life, or other people.  Corruption, no justice to speak of.  Nothing but fear, even in places where there should be none.  Sounds like hell really.

In my addiction, I could not trust.  I lied about many things.  I lied about how I spent my time.  I lied about what I liked.  I lied about what was important.  Sometimes I lied to hide my addiction.  Sometimes I lied because that's what I thought people wanted to hear.  I cared mostly about my addiction - I didn't think about other people, and sometimes I didn't even consider my own well being.   My life in addiction reflected many of the description of psalm 53.  Again, I am sure I am not alone - I know from my 12 step meetings that many of the things I talk about here are common amongst many many addicts.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 52 (KJV): I trust in the mercy of God

From Psalms

Psalm 52
(For the director of music. A maskil of David. When Doeg the Edomite had gone to Saul and told him: “David has gone to the house of Ahimelek.”)

¹Why boastest thou thyself in mischief, O mighty man?
      the goodness of God endureth continually.
²The tongue deviseth mischiefs;
      like a sharp razor,
      working deceitfully.
³Thou lovest evil more than good;
      and lying rather than to speak righteousness.            Selah.
⁴Thou lovest all devouring words,
      O thou deceitful tongue.

⁵God shall likewise destroy thee for ever,
      he shall take thee away, and pluck thee out of thy dwelling place,
      and root thee out of the land of the living.                   Selah.
⁶The righteous also shall see, and fear,
      and shall laugh at him:
⁷Lo, this is the man
      that made not God his strength;
but trusted in the abundance of his riches,
      and strengthened himself in his wickedness.

⁸But I am like a green olive tree
      in the house of God:
I trust in the mercy of God
      for ever and ever.
⁹I will praise thee for ever,
      because thou hast done it:
and I will wait on thy name;
      for it is good before thy saints.

Here's a psalm which highlights David's feelings when he was betrayed by Doeg, a man who professed to be his friend.  Not only does he sin but he boasts about his sin (verse 1).  A child of God does not boast about sin.  But nor will he lie about it - but boasting about sin is a sign of a person who is not faithful to God.  Then this psalm then tells us that this evil person will prefer deceit and lying to honesty and righteousness.

As I read this psalm and think about what I'm reading I realize that I allow my addiction to make me evil.  That's not to say I'm truly evil but I allow my addiction to cloud my judgement so that I choose evil over good.  I expect I'm not alone.  As addicts we try to cover up our problem.  We deceive and betray friends, just as Doeg does to David.  Sometimes, I expect we even brag about it.

To this day I hide my addiction from most people (I still live with the disease I am just now able to manage it).  More than just lying to cover up my addiction, in my addiction I would lie, I would steal, I would covet, and I would commit adultery (if even in spirit).  I fear all of these behaviors more than I fear acting out in my addiction itself because these are what made my life unmanageable.  It was all these things that made sex and alcohol a problem in my life.

Thankfully, I have the 12 steps, I have psalms and prayer that keep me close to God and give me perspective on my addictions.  When I lose touch with those my natural tendencies rise up, again.  However, as long as I trust in these things I remain powerful over my addictions.  This power and strength is what I need to recover.  My help comes from the Lord.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 51 (KJV) 1-16: Create in me a clean heart, O God

From Psalms

Psalm 51: 1-16
(For the director of music, A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.)

¹Have mercy upon me, O God,
      according to thy lovingkindness:
according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies
      blot out my transgressions.
²Wash me throughly from mine iniquity,
      and cleanse me from my sin.

³For I acknowledge my transgressions:
      and my sin is ever before me.
⁴Against thee, thee only, have I sinned,
      and done this evil in thy sight:
that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest,
      and be clear when thou judgest.
⁵Behold, I was shapen in iniquity;
      and in sin did my mother conceive me.
⁶Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts:
      and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.

⁷Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean:
      wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
⁸Make me to hear joy and gladness;
      that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.
⁹Hide thy face from my sins,
      and blot out all mine iniquities.

¹⁰Create in me a clean heart, O God;
      and renew a right spirit within me.
¹¹Cast me not away from thy presence;
      and take not thy holy spirit from me.
¹²Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation;
      and uphold me with thy free spirit.

¹³Then will I teach transgressors thy ways;
      and sinners shall be converted unto thee.
¹⁴Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
      thou God of my salvation:
      and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.
¹⁵O Lord, open thou my lips;
      and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.
¹⁶For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it:
      thou delightest not in burnt offering.

This is a big psalm for me because in spirit, as a sex addict, I also committed adultery, like David.  It wasn't exactly the same.  However, when I visited strip clubs, and lied about it, I was unfatihful.  When I watched porn and lied about it I was unfaithful.  David, one of the most holy people to ever lived.  One God's ordained children.  He, like myself, for a point in time, was unable to control his lust for a woman and broke two commandments.  So, this psalm has a special place for the sex addict.  In line with the 12 steps this psalm, has: a cry conscience, a cry of confession and clemency, a cry for cleansing and communion.

Let's highlight these as I simply recite this as means of redemption of my sins.  Cry of conscience: "For I acknowledge my transgressions and they are ever before me."  Cry of confession and clemency: "Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom."  The idea that the thought of sin is as bad as committing the sin.  Cry for cleansing and communion: "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit in me."

I think this last line will be my mantra for the day.  "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit in me."

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 51:17-19 (KJV): Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices

From Psalms

Psalm 51:17-19

¹⁷The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit:
      a broken and a contrite heart,
     O God, thou wilt not despise.

¹⁸Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion:
      build thou the walls of Jerusalem.
¹⁹Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness,
      with burnt offering and whole burnt offering:
      then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.

This is David's closing for his big prayer, from his adultery with Bathsheba, that we looked at yesterday.  This loses up his request for cleansing with praises to God.  Not only does he desire to praise God but he also wants to please God.

How do we please God?  We give of our love freely - just as Jesus showed.  For even if we sin much we can be forgiven if we make things aright and love much.  When was the last time you wept over your sins?  Thankfully our God is gracious and gave his son to be willing to forgive our sins.  However, this grace is at a small price.  That price is confession, a contrite heart, and amends on our part.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 50:15-23: call upon me in day of trouble: I will deliver thee

From Psalms

Psalm 50:15-23

¹⁵And call upon me in the day of trouble:
      I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.

¹⁶But unto the wicked God saith,
      What hast thou to do to declare my statutes,
      or that thou shouldest take my covenant in thy mouth?
¹⁷Seeing thou hatest instruction,
      and casteth my words behind thee.
¹⁸When thou sawest a thief, then thou consentedst with him,
      and hast been partaker with adulterers.
¹⁹Thou givest thy mouth to evil,
      and thy tongue frameth deceit.
²⁰Thou sittest and speakest against thy brother;
      thou slanderest thine own mother's son.
²¹These things hast thou done, and I kept silence;
      thou thoughtest that I was altogether such an one as thyself:
but I will reprove thee,
      and set them in order before thine eyes.

²²Now consider this, ye that forget God,
      lest I tear you in pieces, and there be none to deliver.
²³Whoso offereth praise glorifieth me:
      and to him that ordereth his conversation
      aright will I shew the salvation of God.

Starting in verse 16 God identifies all of our hypocrisy.  Our lies, our stealing, procrastination, speaking evil, disregard for the words of the bible.  Through all this God has been silent - but that doesn't mean he has approved.  Nevertheless, God does not want to destroy us because of our sin.  No he wants to use his grace on those who seek forgiveness and change their ways.  Those that make their conversation, and their way, aright will be saved.  That is what God wants.

Everyday is a new day.  Everyday I need to make sure I am correcting my natural tendency to seek pleasure outside of his word.  That I am not seeking pleasure in places I shouldn't be like in a bottle or in sex.  That's the way I had been doing it for years.  And I expect it will take years to change that tendency - and will only be able to do it with the help of God.  And so it everyday that I need to pick up the steps, pick up psalms, and pray for God to save me, and help me aright my way.  One day at a time I will recover a little stronger than the day before.

Thanks for letting me share.

Psalm 50:1-14: Never mind the bullocks

From Psalms

Psalm 50:1-14
(A psalm of Asaph)


¹The mighty God, even the LORD,
      hath spoken, and called the earth
      from the rising of the sun unto the going down thereof.
²Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty,
      God hath shined.
³Our God shall come, and shall not keep silence:
      a fire shall devour before him,
      and it shall be very tempestuous round about him.
⁴He shall call to the heavens from above,
      and to the earth, that he may judge his people.
⁵Gather my saints together unto me;
      those that have made a covenant with me by sacrifice.
⁶And the heavens shall declare his righteousness:
      for God is judge himself.                                            Selah.

⁷Hear, O my people, and I will speak;
      O Israel, and I will testify against thee:
      I am God, even thy God.
⁸I will not reprove thee for thy sacrifices
      or thy burnt offerings, to have been continually before me.
⁹I will take no bullock out of thy house,
      nor he goats out of thy folds.
¹⁰For every beast of the forest is mine,
      and the cattle upon a thousand hills.
¹¹I know all the fowls of the mountains:
      and the wild beasts of the field are mine.
¹²If I were hungry, I would not tell thee:
      for the world is mine, and the fulness thereof.
¹³Will I eat the flesh of bulls,
      or drink the blood of goats?
¹⁴Offer unto God thanksgiving;
      and pay thy vows unto the most High:

This, I am told, is a psalm of judgement.  1-3 we are told of the coming of God.  Something that should be a glorious anticipation of the children of God.  That is, if you are ready to be judged by God himself.  Verses 7-10 show us we may not be ready to be judged.

We may have been going to church, we may have been giving our sacrifices, our $20 on the plate, even volunteering at church.  Not that any of these things are bad - but if it's just going through the motions it won't mean anything to God.  What is any of that to God, anyway?  Does God want or need our money?  God wants us to build a relationship with him.  As the Sex Pistols (sort of) said never mind the bullocks (verse 9) God wants a relationship with you.  Clearly I added the last part, but you get the message.

So, let me get to what this has to with my addiction, lately.  I have been spending time, recently, doing things that put me at risk of losing my sobriety.  For example, even if I have sparkling water when I go out with the guys from work, just being at a bar puts me at risk.  There are finer lines with my sex addiction.  YouTube, as an example, does not host porn.  However, some of the videos there could very well put me at risk of losing my sexual sobriety.  At any rate, when I am involved in these gray areas I am certainly not building my relationship with God.  I am certainly not doing the will of God, as I vowed I would do when I completed my work in step three.  And doing his will, and building my relationship with God, is what I need to be doing instead.

Thanks for letting me share.