Psalm 52 (KJV): I trust in the mercy of God

From Psalms

Psalm 52
(For the director of music. A maskil of David. When Doeg the Edomite had gone to Saul and told him: “David has gone to the house of Ahimelek.”)

¹Why boastest thou thyself in mischief, O mighty man?
      the goodness of God endureth continually.
²The tongue deviseth mischiefs;
      like a sharp razor,
      working deceitfully.
³Thou lovest evil more than good;
      and lying rather than to speak righteousness.            Selah.
⁴Thou lovest all devouring words,
      O thou deceitful tongue.

⁵God shall likewise destroy thee for ever,
      he shall take thee away, and pluck thee out of thy dwelling place,
      and root thee out of the land of the living.                   Selah.
⁶The righteous also shall see, and fear,
      and shall laugh at him:
⁷Lo, this is the man
      that made not God his strength;
but trusted in the abundance of his riches,
      and strengthened himself in his wickedness.

⁸But I am like a green olive tree
      in the house of God:
I trust in the mercy of God
      for ever and ever.
⁹I will praise thee for ever,
      because thou hast done it:
and I will wait on thy name;
      for it is good before thy saints.

Here's a psalm which highlights David's feelings when he was betrayed by Doeg, a man who professed to be his friend.  Not only does he sin but he boasts about his sin (verse 1).  A child of God does not boast about sin.  But nor will he lie about it - but boasting about sin is a sign of a person who is not faithful to God.  Then this psalm then tells us that this evil person will prefer deceit and lying to honesty and righteousness.

As I read this psalm and think about what I'm reading I realize that I allow my addiction to make me evil.  That's not to say I'm truly evil but I allow my addiction to cloud my judgement so that I choose evil over good.  I expect I'm not alone.  As addicts we try to cover up our problem.  We deceive and betray friends, just as Doeg does to David.  Sometimes, I expect we even brag about it.

To this day I hide my addiction from most people (I still live with the disease I am just now able to manage it).  More than just lying to cover up my addiction, in my addiction I would lie, I would steal, I would covet, and I would commit adultery (if even in spirit).  I fear all of these behaviors more than I fear acting out in my addiction itself because these are what made my life unmanageable.  It was all these things that made sex and alcohol a problem in my life.

Thankfully, I have the 12 steps, I have psalms and prayer that keep me close to God and give me perspective on my addictions.  When I lose touch with those my natural tendencies rise up, again.  However, as long as I trust in these things I remain powerful over my addictions.  This power and strength is what I need to recover.  My help comes from the Lord.

Thanks for letting me share.